Tuesday.

Last night was hard.

Daddy is away, baby is teething, dog is nervous, big kid doesn't respond well to change and is freaking a bit, 18 hour power cut, mommy is on her own.

My world feels a bit insane at the moment. And this was day one-- out of SIXTEEN.

How timely that our lesson for Revive (a recovery ministry at our church) would be about SANITY.

I tend to have totally unrealistic expectations of myself and others.  I have struggled with this my whole life.  Right now I am battling with the unrealistic expectation that with my husband away I can still do everything I usually do.  That's INSANITY.  I will have to scale back... I am missing a person who accomplishes a whole lot in our home, I am having to fill his role for the next two weeks and therefore I have to say NO to some pretty things.

These are not bad things.  Most of them are good: like hanging out with life giving friends, serving others or duties at work.  Some of them are wonderful things like volunteering at church with ministries that are important to me. 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  I have so many times overextended myself and wound up stressed out and grouchy.  I do this mainly because I feel like I have to prove my value, it's ridiculous.  Sanity is making decisions based on truth.  Today, my truth is that in a perfect world, I would be able to do it all... but in this reality, I just cannot.  And this doesn't diminish my value. I am learning (in these past 36 hours) that my husband is more important to our family than I even realized, and that his presence in our home allows me to say a lot more yeses to the things I love.

Thank you Nyasha for being such a fabulous husband and daddy and for letting me be a mommy who pursues her dreams without leaving a void in her kiddo's lives.  Thanks for picking up the slack.  We miss you more than you know.