Denied...

Wednesday 22 October, 2008
My work permit has been denied...

I have to say that I am in utter shock. I thought that immigration would drag it out, literally forever, but I NEVER, even for a moment, thought that my application would get denied.

In the moment that I received the news, I laughed. I really thought the woman speaking to me was joking. Trying to get me upset, or just teasing me. But I did not take her seriously. 4 hours later, still at the immigration building, I took them seriously.

My work permit has been denied.

Now I am bombarded by thoughts and questions...
Am I called to Zimbabwe? Was I ever? Is my time here over? Are you sending me somewhere else? What does this mean for Refuge? What does this mean for me? What does this mean? Do I keep fighting? Do I let go? Where are you? Why don't I hear you? WHAT??!!?

The only answer is this, "Trust me, I am with you."

I KNOW that God loves me. I know that He has a plan, I even trust that the pain that I am feeling right now is necessary. But I am hurting. My heart feels split in two. I am crying, and I don't even think I am crying for me... but for a nation. My heart still tells me that my future is here.

Thursday 23 October, 2008
Update....
I spent another day at immigration today, because although they know that my permit was denied, they cannot find my file and give me the letter that I need to make an appeal. It feels like an attempt to discourage me, but I had a great night with God last night and calls from 2 of my fave girls in the world and today I feel alright. I feel stronger than yesterday and ready to not give up.

So I spent the day at immigration.
3 hours sitting waiting for a letter that tells me I can't work in this country. The whole time I feel like maybe God will change the words on the paper and I will get this much needed sticker in my passport.

Instead, they close for lunch and tell me to come back on Tuesday. I hear very clearly, "Don't leave." So I say, "No I will wait, if that's alright."

About 30 minutes before they will return from lunch, I am looking for a bathroom. There is no one on the first or second floor so I make my way to the third floor. I have never met with anyone on the third floor because it is where the executives are. I pass by an office looking for someone to unlock the bathroom and a woman asks me, "Who do you work for?" I tell her, "ROCK of Africa, but i am just looking for the key to the toilet." She gives it to me and I make my way there.

In the toilet I meet a lady who asks me about the progress of my permit, which makes me tear up and she said, "Don't worry... just keep trying."

So I take the key back to the very nice woman on the third floor and she asks me a lot of questions about my work here and is really helpful. She then asks a man to meet with me, who is so kind and generous and uses his position to help me.

Long story short, I now know how to appeal and what i need to do.
I also have an appointment on November 3, 2008 for this appeal.
Most people appeal in a letter. I will write a letter, but I get to deliver it in person.

I left immigration today with a "no" that felt like a "yes".

I know that God's plan is perfect, and way better than mine. I was content to go pick up a sticker and have it put in my passport. Instead of the sticker, today I have a relationship with several very important people in the immigration department and an appointment to meet with the man who's decision determines whether or not I stay in Zimbabwe.

Please pray for continued favor.

The only answer I have is that He loves me. I trust Him. His plan for my life and for Zimbabwe is perfect.

Gigi

PS, I laughed because the man who has been helping all along said to me yesterday when he found me in an office i shouldn't have been in said, "You are very brave. You have courage i have never seen. Anyone would have given up by now. This is why I respect you. You are a Christian and I see that by how you act here."

God's plan is best.