All in a day's work: It's Just Better

I often get asked to define the reasons behind my firm belief that a family based placement is better for a child than a children’s home—even if the children’s home is of the highest quality.

A few weeks ago I was working on a document for work and the kiddo was sitting with me cuddled in bed reading her book.  It was a precious moment, even before she engaged me in the most amazing conversation.

Kiddo: “Are you doing work?”

Me: “Yup, I’ll finish up when you get to the end of your chapter.”

Kiddo:  “Is this the kind of work that I get to do too?”  (She loves “working” with me in the school holidays; I think this kiddo will be running nurture groups in her classrooms before long!)

Me: “If you want to help, I would LOVE to have your thoughts.”

Kiddo: “OK!”

Me: (Nervously):“So I am writing about why it’s better for kiddos to live with a mommy and a daddy than in a children’s home.  What do you think about that?”

Kiddo: (With a voice that said ‘DUH’) “That’s easy- It’s better to live with a mom and dad because they touch you nicely… you get hugs and massages, so it’s just better.”

Me: (With a broken heart) “I think you are right kiddo, it’s just better.”

If only the people who write the legislation and make the important choices could accept, “It’s just better.”  Because honestly it is.  I’ll let the psychologists, neuroscientists and developmental researchers keep pumping out the evidence… because in our world those words work just fine, after all it wasn’t all that long ago that her words couldn’t come out.