Lessons from my life as a 31 year old (Part two)

1.     6. Worshiping in the dark is still worship

I have had some really dark days in my year as a 31 year old.  Difficult days in which love hurt… days in which babies died and good seem to lose out to evil.  Days that hurt deeply and left me wondering where God was.  I am glad that God gives me the opportunity to question because in those moments of doubt He often teaches me something magnificent about His character.  

Throughout these difficult days, I have never stopped trusting Him.  I could still recognize His greatness and I still had a desire to follow Him.  I learned from a very wise woman to, choose the risk of love even in the midst of the worst devastation.  I have learned that when I chose the risk of love, I have never once been disappointed. 

On these days, an album by Chris Tomlin has helped me give words to express my feelings. 

Some of the lyrics that have come from my lips as tears poured from my eyes and my heart worshiped are these:

I lift my hands to believe again

You are my refuge you are my strength

As I pour out my heart these things I remember,

You are faithful God, forever

Let faith arise, Let faith arise

Open my eyes, open my eyes

________________________

Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay I’ll stay

When you move I’ll move. I will follow You.

Who You love I’ll love. How You serve, I’ll serve.

With this life I lose I will follow You.

___________________________

Our God is greater. Our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other.

Our God is healer. Awesome in Power.

Our God, Our God.

And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us then what could stand against us?

And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us then what could stand against us?

I think Rick Warren’s wisdom sums up this lesson for me.  He said, “When you feel abandoned by God yet continue to trust Him, you worship Him in the deepest way.”

2.       7. Difficult does not mean impossible & Possible does not mean easy

“Because a thing seems difficult for you do not think it is impossible” Marcus Aurelius

During my last few days as a 31 year old, I received an email from a friend who said, “Life in Africa is hard… I am amazed that you have lived here for so long now…” I began thinking over my time here and how life in Zimbabwe has been difficult for me.  There have so many moments where I wanted to give up, walk away and return to my “real life”.  But throughout this last year especially, I have learned that difficult is not the same as impossible.  I have found that with God, things that would have been impossible for me, have instead just been difficult.  

The Bible says that “With God all things are possible”  I have learned this to be true, however I’ve also had to accept that this doesn’t mean “With God all things are easy and painless.”

3.       8. It all works together

In my old house in Vic Falls, I had an office and when I would learn a valuable lesson or hear something that I needed to remember I would write it down and stick it to the wall.  I had a wall full of little lessons I wanted to carry with me.  When I moved I pulled many of them down and kept them with me in an envelope.  In my room in Highfields, I did the same thing… around my desk were little notes stuck everywhere on the way. 

 

Recently I have begun working on a project that feels like the BIG ONE.  The thing that all the other things were leading up to.  I know from past experience that God absolutely does use all things together for good and so as I started laying out my thoughts about how to get started on this project, I started thinking back to the lessons I have learned to prepare me for this work.  

I thought about Munya and Bothwell, little boys who stole my heart on the streets of Vic Falls. I thought about their families.  I thought about all of the families I counseled, who have taught me so much. I thought of blind Mr. Who and what his life and struggles showed me.  I thought of ghettoes and villages I have spent years in and the opportunity I have had to learn the ins and outs of the culture, the challenges and the joys of life in Zimbabwe.  I thought of abandoned babies and orphanages and child headed families.  

I didn’t know where to start so I pulled out that old envelope and all those old scraps of paper and I stuck them all around.  One by one they led me to the answers I had been looking for—or in some cases the right questions to ask, and my thoughts came together.  Some of those scraps of paper have been sent around the world by some of you, others are thoughts you sent me in text messages or emails. Some are things that wise old Zimbabwean women have taught me as we sat around a fire cooking or bent over tubs washing clothes.   

One thing I know, not one lesson has been learned in vain and certainly all things work together.

4.       9. Remember the details

I grew up in a church that is fabulous.  My grandma still attends this church weekly, as do some very special friends of mine and it is a joy to church there when I am in Michigan.  The church is big, and I left there a long time ago—when I was 17.  I did not know the pastor personally, but I sent him an email because I wanted to thank him for his life’s work… to thank him for providing a place for me to learn some of the fundamental truths that have led me to where I am today.  I had the pleasure of having several meetings with him as I was back and forth to Michigan this year.  

In one meeting my heart broke and I wept telling him one of the stories that changed my life here -the story of baby Edward’s death.  

Edward was an abandoned baby that I spent months holding, loving and feeding until one week when he got a fever.  Edward lived his entire life in a hospital and yet he died because of lack of medical care.  When I walked in to check on him one morning I was told that he was dead from an infection, rage filled me.  When Nyasha and I had left a few hours before that, we had been told that the doctor was coming—as we had been told for a couple of days.

Months later I wept retelling the story because of a painful truth- Edward died because no one cared enough to take care of him. He didn’t die because of lack of medical treatment.  He died because no one loved him enough to ensure access to the things he needed. 

I told Pastor Doug this story and many others as he asked about my work and my life in Zimbabwe.

Weeks later Pastor Doug brought me in front of the congregation to say good-bye as I was heading back to Zimbabwe.  He recounted the story I told him and as he said “baby Edward” my heart jumped.  He remembered his name.  The nurses who cared for him forgot him name within days, and yet this man who never met him remembered. 

I learned a lesson when Pastor Doug remembered the details of this baby's short life… it is often in the little details that we show how much we care for the least of these. 

 A week or so ago I was visiting an orphanage that I often spend time at, and as I arrived there were a group of people there playing with the kids.  They were doing a good thing: playing, cleaning, ironing and giving the overworked mommies a break.  As I greeted each child by name one of the visitors said, “That’s a lot names to remember.” Yes, it is, but when I see the eyes of a child light up when I say his or her name I am taught that it is worth it to remember the detail

Tino's New Name!

For those of you who have been following the stories from my work for a while, you will remember last year around this time I was brought to a local hospital to pray for a premature baby, and met a wonderful group of babies that changed my life.  The abandoned baby ward in this hospital was filled with the most precious babies I had ever met!

One of those babies was Tino.  I first met him when he was a couple of weeks old.  He always had a pained look on his face, as if he were stressed about something.  One day, a nurse shared with me the story of his life and it was heartbreaking… it almost seemed as if he knew the story as carried a burden.  Nyasha and I started going to the hospital every day to love on these little babies.  We held them, changed their nappies, bathed them, changed their clothes, fed them and most importantly prayed with them and taught them how to play! Eventually we were joined by some of the women from our parenting class and before you know it these babies were getting tons of attention and affection!  Our goal was to help find them homes so that they wouldn’t have to live in the hospital.

Tino was in the middle in terms of age of all the babies in the hospital, some were younger and some were older. It took months before we were able to get him to relax while he was held.  I can remember Nyasha being so disappointed some days when he would hold Tino for hours and get no response, they would have the same sad look on their faces and Nyasha would say, “I don’t get it all the other babies like it when I hold them… I must being doing something wrong, he just doesn’t like me”.  But we didn’t give up, after a while we made it our goal to make Tino smile. 

Finally one day, he did. 

Nyasha and I came into the ward to visit and a nurse said, “Tino smiled today—the others said it was gas, but I know he smiled.” Nyasha picked him up and there it was—a smile, he relaxed and they both smiled as Nyasha held him!

A few months later, several of the babies had been given homes in local orphanages and we were looking for adoptive homes for the rest when I got the news that a dear friend of mine who had two sons would be adopting Tino.  She brought him home before Christmas and named him Ephraim.

When I returned to Zimbabwe I bumped into them in the grocery store and if I hadn’t known that she had adopted him, I would never have recognized him! He was big and chubby, smiling and CUDDLING HIM MOMMY!!!  This was one of those moments that I will never, ever forget.

I was blessed to be able to spend Ephraim’s birthday with him.  He was joined at his party by children from 2 local orphanages and they filled up on sweets and chocolate cake shaped in an ‘E’.  Then they spent the afternoon running around and jumping in a bounce house!

Seeing the changes in Ephraim and Evans who was also at the party, made me remember all of the hours spent in the hospital with those little guys. There were stressful moments when the hospital had no water to make formula.  There were hilarious moments like when I picked up a little baby and their poopy diaper exploded all over me, of course when I had to teach a class in 30 minutes!! There were devastating moments like when Edward died from an infection and there were moments to celebrate like when Evans went to Village of Hope and at 9 months old learned to sit up.   

 I am happy to say that each of the children that we originally met from the abandoned baby unit has found a home.  Ephraim was adopted, several of the others including Evans and Kelsey were placed in orphanages and of course of little boy Edward has his home in Heaven.  Their stories are just a few examples of what the Bible means when it says, “He sets the lonely in families.”  God truly is a father to the fatherless and He allows us to each have a part in helping orphaned children find forever families.  What a blessing it is to share in the lives of these special little babies.   

There are so many more babies just like them that need a home…and so the work goes on.

More Praising Than Prayer...

Thursday November 18, 2010 is the day that I have been waiting for... the day my file for application of a work permit in Zimbabwe will make it's way into the meeting room of the Labour Board with a seal of approval from Zimbabwe Immigration.

There is no guarantee that my file will even be looked at, and if it is, there is no guarantee that my request will be approved. I am praying that my file (which is one of hundreds) somehow find it's way into the hands of the board and that they look upon it with favor.

So for now, I am praying. And praising.

I had a great reminder from a very dear and wise friend this week. I had sent out an email asking people to pray about this and her response was,
"It'll be approved! We know how God works ;0) I'll do more praising than prayer!"

What a great reminder that we all have so much to praise Him for, and that even in the midst of asking for our hearts desire we can thank God for providing just that!

Thanksgiving is such a great time of the year to praise anyway! So just in case you needed a little reminder too...

Therefore I will praise you, LORD, among the nations; I will sing the praises of your name. Psalm 18:49

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28: 6-8

You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. Psalm 59:17

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. Psalm 69:30

I have so much to praise God for today...5 years ago today I stepped foot on Zimbabwean soil for the first time, and a journey began that would change me for ever! Praise the Lord that He knows what we need so much more than we do!

I am including some pictures, random snapshots of some of the special, early moments of my time in Zimbabwe  for a more complete assortment of pictures, you can visit my facebook page!

Mr Who?

I first met Mr. Who in November, 2005. It was my first trip to Zimbabwe -- I was going for 2 weeks. Little did I know that this old man, with a heart on fire for the Lord would become my dear friend.

In the four years that I have lived in Zimbabwe, I have spent quite a bit of time with this man and his family. At first glance, it would appear that his family is poor. And in terms of material possessions, yes they are lacking, but in love and in spirit they were rich... and their most precious gem, was Josiaha Martin... Mr. Who.

Mr. Who got his name, when he lost his eye sight due to cataracts. I never knew him when he could see, but I loved that everytime I would walk down the hot, red, sandy path in Monde that before I neared his gate I knew I would hear "Who's there? Who's there?" He was always excited when someone would take the time to stop and pray with him, sing with him or read him the Bible. Those who have met him, as any of my friends who have come to Vic Falls have, know that as soon as you begin to pray with him he shouts "Amen! Amen!" His joy is contageous! His loss of vision was a constant source of frustration for him, and he was forever asking to be taken for medicine to restore his vision. Tonight, my heart rejoices at the thought of Mr. Who, with perfect eyes singing and dancing on streets of gold. He will never be hungry, cold or lonely again. He has been waiting for this day for a long time, although I will miss him, today my heart rejoices for him.

Mr Who, lived with his daughter and eight grandchildren. It appears that most of his children have died, as is so common with this generation in Zimbabwe, leaving behind many orphans. His one daughter stayed with him to help take care of the children, and as he aged, her father as well. Because he was so well loved in his community his daughter and these children have been provided for. People in the community, as well as ROCK of Africa, have seen to this, however one thing is important to note: A male presence in the home (Mr Who's presence) has kept them safe. Without a male in the home a woman and her children are left vulnerable.

Please pray for his family as they carry out his funeral this on Sunday, but also pray for their continued protection and provision in this time. The story of this man, Josiaha Martin is not rare, as a matter of fact, it is commonplace in this nation, but it is heartbreaking.

I will remain close to this family, and will do my best to help his daughter provide a safe place for these children to live. This is what I do in Zimbabwe, on the most intimate level.