Gigi in Zimbabwe

More Driving Adventures in Zimbabwe!

2011-10-20T22:39:00.000+02:00

I have been so excited about partnering with my childhoodchurch (Woodside Bible Church) as they launched their interactive internetcampus. To be able to host an onlinecampus with worship, teaching, prayer and fellowship from Zimbabwe, where we havenotoriously bad electricity and internet issues has been a miracle. Today we had our official African launch at2pm, 8am for those of you in Michigan.

If you have ever had to work in Africa you may have heard thestatement, “TIA” short for “This Is Africa”, meaning “whatever can go wrong,certainly will.” We proved that once againto be true!

I have been borrowing a car from Nyasha for the past fewmonths and today when I was picking up Charity who was serving as “Prayer Host”online today the car stopped moving…in the middle of a construction site, COMPLETELYblocking the ENTIRE road that was being worked on! Eventually we were able to push it out of theway, and Nyasha saved the day! He not only picked us up so that we made itonline in time, but coordinating transport for our entire team who was being trainedAND getting his car towed to the mechanics. I am so grateful for the way he can calmly take care of a chaoticsituation!


We were able to push the car to the side so at least the trucks could get by!

Which was exactly what Pastor Doug was preaching abouttoday, from James 1:19/20 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speakand slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousnessGod desires.” Today we saw our team work together in a difficult situation withincredible grace, living out their faith in action! I am proud to work with such incredibleexamples of the Christian religion.

I am often heard saying, “My work in Africa is not at all glamorous”and what I mean by that is the day to day work that I am found doing is often hard:unpolished and unpredictable. Today wasa perfect example of that… I was showered and dressed for a successful meetingwith social welfare and by the time I made it to our online campus I was sweaty,puffy and dirty because I was stranded pushing a car down a red dust road in90+ degree weather!

What I love is that not one of us lost our temper or shoutedat anyone –even when the construction workers were completely irritated withhow I managed to delay their work-and didn't mind telling me! We totallyproved that although our work is not glamorous, it is important. 704 people from 3 countries logged in tocheck out our service. As we add ourAfrica touches to the service, I have no doubts that more and more people willbe moved by the prayer and worship of the African people!

To God be the Glory!

Read on if you would like to read my letter requesting support for my new car:

Hello Friends,

I am writing to you with an urgent request.

Many of you know that I gave my car to Pastor Chris’s wifeRhoda and have not had a car since I returned to Zimbabwe at the beginning ofthis year. Nyasha has been so kind to allow me to use a car of his that we knewwas having problems and wasn’t going to last long. Today as I was on myway to pick up Charity for the launch of our African branch of Woodside’s Online Campus, the car refused tomove forward when I shifted from reverse to drive…leaving me blocking aconstruction site J Life here isalways an adventure! (If you would like to read the whole story pleasesee my blog!) The mechanichas towed the car to the shop and determined that among other things, thetransmission needs to be replaced and that it is time for me to buy a car!

I knew that the time was coming, and I have been pricingcars and looking to see what was available. As you might know, I livevery frugally here so I will no doubt negotiate as much as possible!

I am desperately in need of the funds to purchase avehicle. Without a vehicle, my ability to reach many of the families Iwork with and the children’s homes I counsel in would be dramatically limited.My schedule is quite strenuous and many of the places I work are not easilyaccessible by public transportation.

If you would like to help me purchase a vehicle, you canmake a tax deductible donation through ROCK of Africa. You can do this inone of two ways: visit www.rockofafrica.organd click on “Give Now Online” which will take you to paypal. You canenter your donation amount and credit card information. If you wouldrather not make an online donation, but would like to use a check or creditcard, please contact Debi Elliott at debisdigs@att.netand she will walk you through the donation process!

I appreciate all of your love and support over the years!

With Love from Zimbabwe,

Regina Jones

P.S. If you would like to help in some other way, we are inneed of several types of in kind donations: Smart phones that can beused in Africa (AT&T or T-mobile) because this way our volunteers canaccess email without a computer. We need two laptops to use withour new Internet campus, they do not have to be new—the only requirement isthat we can access a wireless signal! You can also help make ourChristmas parties for local families and orphans possible, just email me formore information!

a father's love

2011-10-17T19:16:00.000+02:00

I spent this weekend with a group of recovering alcoholics from Southern Africa in a beautiful area of Zimbabwe. It was just what I needed... 3 days without cell phone service and lots of sunshine and great conversation.

The highlight for me was visiting this little stone chapel, on a cliff overlooking Lake Mutikiwiri. I was told that I must see it. When I got there, it took my breath away. It was a VERY small chapel and the story on the door explained that a daughter had asked her dad to build her a little place to get married in. He did, and before her wedding day she was killed in an accident. He finished the little chapel as a memorial of love to his baby girl.

It was so special just to sit in this lovely place and be reminded of what a father's love really means. For me, I thought of how much God loves me as a father. As I sat in this chapel overlooking the lake I thought of all of the things God has given me, for no other reason than to show me His love.

A few minutes later a group of Indian men who came from Durban for the convention came into the chapel. Most of them are Hindu and a couple are atheist. We talked about the chapel and joked that I should get married there to cut down the guest list and dramatically save money! Then they got serious and asked me to pray for them. I was a bit nervous and they said, "Just pray how you normally do, we want you to." So I did. I closed by saying "In the name of Jesus" and when I looked up these men had big smiles on their faces.

I reciprocated and asked if they would pray for me and I was met with silence. One bold man said, "We don't know how to pray, we only know the AA prayers." So we held hands and said the Lord's Prayer and the Serenity Prayer.

It was such a special moment, but I walked away feeling sad. I am eternally grateful for my relationship with God. To be able to come to God as my father and speak to Him about anything that is on my heart is a privilege. It is my desire for everyone I come into contact with to be able to have such relationship with God as well. The rest of the weekend, every time someone would walk past me when I was in conversation with one of these men, they would stop them and say, "This woman prayed for us" as if it were a precious gift they had been given.

I am so grateful for the reminder that God has given me so many special gifts as a father, but most importantly He gave me himself... and that relationship is by far the most precious gift I have ever received.

Lessons from my life as a 31 year old (Part two)

2011-07-16T18:16:00.006+02:00

1. 6. Worshiping in the dark is still worship

I have had some really dark days in my year as a 31 year old. Difficult days in which love hurt… days in which babies died and good seem to lose out to evil. Days that hurt deeply and left me wondering where God was. I am glad that God gives me the opportunity to question because in those moments of doubt He often teaches me something magnificent about His character.

Throughout these difficult days, I have never stopped trusting Him. I could still recognize His greatness and I still had a desire to follow Him. I learned from a very wise woman to, choose the risk of love even in the midst of the worst devastation. I have learned that when I chose the risk of love, I have never once been disappointed.

On these days, an album by Chris Tomlin has helped me give words to express my feelings.

Some of the lyrics that have come from my lips as tears poured from my eyes and my heart worshiped are these:

I lift my hands to believe again

You are my refuge you are my strength

As I pour out my heart these things I remember,

You are faithful God, forever

Let faith arise, Let faith arise

Open my eyes, open my eyes

________________________

Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay I’ll stay

When you move I’ll move. I will follow You.

Who You love I’ll love. How You serve, I’ll serve.

With this life I lose I will follow You.

___________________________

Our God is greater. Our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other.

Our God is healer. Awesome in Power.

Our God, Our God.

And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us then what could stand against us?

And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us then what could stand against us?

I think Rick Warren’s wisdom sums up this lesson for me. He said, “When you feel abandoned by God yet continue to trust Him, you worship Him in the deepest way.”

2. 7. Difficult does not mean impossible & Possible does not mean easy

“Because a thing seems difficult for you do not think it is impossible” Marcus Aurelius

During my last few days as a 31 year old, I received an email from a friend who said, “Life in Africa is hard… I am amazed that you have lived here for so long now…” I began thinking over my time here and how life in Zimbabwe has been difficult for me. There have so many moments where I wanted to give up, walk away and return to my “real life”. But throughout this last year especially, I have learned that difficult is not the same as impossible. I have found that with God, things that would have been impossible for me, have instead just been difficult.

The Bible says that “With God all things are possible” I have learned this to be true, however I’ve also had to accept that this doesn’t mean “With God all things are easy and painless.”

3. 8. It all works together

In my old house in Vic Falls, I had an office and when I would learn a valuable lesson or hear something that I needed to remember I would write it down and stick it to the wall. I had a wall full of little lessons I wanted to carry with me. When I moved I pulled many of them down and kept them with me in an envelope. In my room in Highfields, I did the same thing… around my desk were little notes stuck everywhere on the way.

Recently I have begun working on a project that feels like the BIG ONE. The thing that all the other things were leading up to. I know from past experience that God absolutely does use all things together for good and so as I started laying out my thoughts about how to get started on this project, I started thinking back to the lessons I have learned to prepare me for this work.

I thought about Munya and Bothwell, little boys who stole my heart on the streets of Vic Falls. I thought about their families. I thought about all of the families I counseled, who have taught me so much. I thought of blind Mr. Who and what his life and struggles showed me. I thought of ghettoes and villages I have spent years in and the opportunity I have had to learn the ins and outs of the culture, the challenges and the joys of life in Zimbabwe. I thought of abandoned babies and orphanages and child headed families.

I didn’t know where to start so I pulled out that old envelope and all those old scraps of paper and I stuck them all around. One by one they led me to the answers I had been looking for—or in some cases the right questions to ask, and my thoughts came together. Some of those scraps of paper have been sent around the world by some of you, others are thoughts you sent me in text messages or emails. Some are things that wise old Zimbabwean women have taught me as we sat around a fire cooking or bent over tubs washing clothes.

One thing I know, not one lesson has been learned in vain and certainly all things work together.

4. 9. Remember the details

I grew up in a church that is fabulous. My grandma still attends this church weekly, as do some very special friends of mine and it is a joy to church there when I am in Michigan. The church is big, and I left there a long time ago—when I was 17. I did not know the pastor personally, but I sent him an email because I wanted to thank him for his life’s work… to thank him for providing a place for me to learn some of the fundamental truths that have led me to where I am today. I had the pleasure of having several meetings with him as I was back and forth to Michigan this year.

In one meeting my heart broke and I wept telling him one of the stories that changed my life here -the story of baby Edward’s death.

Edward was an abandoned baby that I spent months holding, loving and feeding until one week when he got a fever. Edward lived his entire life in a hospital and yet he died because of lack of medical care. When I walked in to check on him one morning I was told that he was dead from an infection, rage filled me. When Nyasha and I had left a few hours before that, we had been told that the doctor was coming—as we had been told for a couple of days.

Months later I wept retelling the story because of a painful truth- Edward died because no one cared enough to take care of him. He didn’t die because of lack of medical treatment. He died because no one loved him enough to ensure access to the things he needed.

I told Pastor Doug this story and many others as he asked about my work and my life in Zimbabwe.

Weeks later Pastor Doug brought me in front of the congregation to say good-bye as I was heading back to Zimbabwe. He recounted the story I told him and as he said “baby Edward” my heart jumped. He remembered his name. The nurses who cared for him forgot him name within days, and yet this man who never met him remembered.

I learned a lesson when Pastor Doug remembered the details of this baby's short life… it is often in the little details that we show how much we care for the least of these.

A week or so ago I was visiting an orphanage that I often spend time at, and as I arrived there were a group of people there playing with the kids. They were doing a good thing: playing, cleaning, ironing and giving the overworked mommies a break. As I greeted each child by name one of the visitors said, “That’s a lot names to remember.” Yes, it is, but when I see the eyes of a child light up when I say his or her name I am taught that it is worth it to remember the detail

Lessons from my life as a 31 year old (Part one)

2011-07-15T17:53:00.001+02:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be welcoming in my life as a 32 year old… Although there are some gray hairs growing in and a few more wrinkles, I don’t really see how 32 looks much different than 31, but as I thought about what I learned this past year I thought I would share some of those lessons here:

1. 1. God loves me. And you. The most. But Equally.

We all long to be treasured. I long to be treasured. I am treasured. I am God’s favorite possession—I learned that this year, but so are you. Every single one of us can stand and say that we are the most important thing to God. It has been pretty life changing for me to allow that reality to wash over me. Once I began to feel treasured, and to see how much He truly treasures each of us, I no longer needed to be the MOST special… I became far more comfortable sharing that spot with you too!

I am also then free to live out my purpose—because being loved by God leaves me motivated. Having a purpose –serving God-brings me joy.

George Bernard Shaw said, “This is true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

My true joy doesn’t just come from being loved and treasured. My true joy comes from doing something with the motivation brought about by the catalyst of love.

2. Love can hurt or it can heal.

I have fallen in love with a song from a movie I saw with my Aunt Laura and cousin Amanda. These two women are so very special to me. But for a long time I had little to no contact with either of them. When my parents divorced my relationship with my mom’s family fell apart. The loss of love between my parents had a ripple effect that I still don’t understand. This song says “You can be hurt by love or healed by the same….timing is everything”

Love is a powerful thing. The words to this song ring true for me because I have walked through several periods of my life where love has hurt SO badly. I am walking through one now.

Mother Teresa said, “I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” I believe her. I believe that when you love someone enough to withstand the difficult times that hurt, you eventually get to a place where the love heals the hurt. The hurt that love can bring is real. So is the healing.

3. 3. Sometimes our past hurts can prevent us from receiving what we want most.

I was recently having a conversation with Nyasha about the love we received from our parents and I was sharing stories about my grandpa. As I told the stories I could feel how real his love was for me. But I can also remember as a little girl, feeling differently. I desperately wanted to be loved, to feel the love of a father and mine was not really around. When my grandparents would do something to show their love for me (basically every day) I didn’t feel lavished in love. I felt they were loving me and caring for us out of some obligation they felt. I was so hurt by the hole my parents left that I couldn’t receive what was being offered to me—even when it was the thing I wanted the most.

Today as God continues to heal the pain from my past hurts, I can feel loved just by sharing a memory. I wonder how often I have missed the love God has been showing me because of a hurt I am carrying.

4. 4. Forgiveness costs.

I don’t often watch Oprah, but I caught a show one day when I was in the States and Oprah was telling a girl, “Forgiveness is letting go of what could have been.” I will never forget how my heart opened that day. Accepting what is. Letting go of what could have been. Loving someone for who they are, not what you want them to be. That is real love. It is hard. It is costly.

When I teach my parenting class, I have to teach about marriage as well. I am not married (yet) so I rely on the wisdom of those who are. An author that I respect says this, “Forgiveness is a decision to give up your perceived or actual right to get even with or hold in debt, someone who has wronged you.” (From fighting for your marriage) It is a decision to sacrifice, it is just as costly as forgetting a financial debt when someone owes you money. They both cost.

I read this and think it is beautiful. It was written by a woman who was publically humiliated when she learned that he husband (a pastor) was having an affair. “Love is powerful enough to erase a person’s sins. Love is forgiveness.”

This year I have learned that forgiveness is costly, and yet it brings with is something priceless: peace and freedom and REAL, TRANSFORMING LOVE.

5. 5. We are all Shunamite women

There is a small story about a woman in 2 Kings Chapter 4. This woman was kind and generous to the prophet Elisah. He wanted to bless her and found that she didn’t have a son. So he told her “Next year you will hold your son.” Her response was strange to me. She said, “Do not lie to me.” I imagine this as her looking at him with immense sadness, saying “I didn’t ask you to go there- why bring up the most painful thing, that deep desire that I have hidden in my heart from everyone, please don’t bring that up- don’t go there.”

I think I am a Shunamite woman, I think we all are. I believe we all have deep desires- some of which have not been filled yet. I think we probably all have something we desire that is so precious to us that we hide it, ignore it, try to detach from it so that we don’t have to feel the pain. The people closest to us might know not to go there in conversation, or they may not even be privileged to know of that deepest longing. But we know it’s there: things like career success, restored relationships, marriage, babies--big life things. We can’t hide from it, we will notice things that remind us that we are missing out. This woman probably saw babies everywhere she went and it probably hurt. She may have finally hidden that desire so deep in her heart so she could try to move on. And then here comes Elisha putting it out in the open, bringing it to the surface and giving her encouragement to hope again. But she did hope and she got her son.

To hope again after disappointment is to risk being hurt again.

This year I have learned that I have something in common with this woman...I have a deep desire hidden away from the world. What I am STILL trying to learn, is how to respond in faith the way she did.

A few years later when her young son died in her arms, when she looked down and saw her dream that she had held after such a long of wait fade away. How would she respond? She placed him in bed and told no one. When her husband asked why she was going to see Elisha she simply said, “It will be well.”

She didn’t scream and shout about how unfair life was that she waited so long for something, until she finally gave up hope and learned to live without a child, and then this man comes by promising her she will have one and she hoped again. And NOW her child has been taken from her. She could have went on and on about the injustice of the situation, but she didn’t. She went to Elisha and when his servant asked how things are she said again, “It is well.” I think she was afraid that if she spoke of the situation she might explode. Finally when she saw Elisha she let it out- she asked him “Did I ask you for a son? Didn’t I say to you, ‘Do not deceive me.” She refused to leave without him and when he arrived home with her, she received a miracle and got her son back.

What I am hoping to learn is that even when I see the thing I longed the most for die in my arms, to be able to say, “It will be well.”

Tino's New Name!

2011-06-22T11:49:00.000+02:00

For those of you who have been following the stories from my work for a while, you will remember last year around this time I was brought to a local hospital to pray for a premature baby, and met a wonderful group of babies that changed my life. The abandoned baby ward in this hospital was filled with the most precious babies I had ever met!

One of those babies was Tino. I first met him when he was a couple of weeks old. He always had a pained look on his face, as if he were stressed about something. One day, a nurse shared with me the story of his life and it was heartbreaking… it almost seemed as if he knew the story as carried a burden. Nyasha and I started going to the hospital every day to love on these little babies. We held them, changed their nappies, bathed them, changed their clothes, fed them and most importantly prayed with them and taught them how to play! Eventually we were joined by some of the women from our parenting class and before you know it these babies were getting tons of attention and affection! Our goal was to help find them homes so that they wouldn’t have to live in the hospital.

Tino was in the middle in terms of age of all the babies in the hospital, some were younger and some were older. It took months before we were able to get him to relax while he was held. I can remember Nyasha being so disappointed some days when he would hold Tino for hours and get no response, they would have the same sad look on their faces and Nyasha would say, “I don’t get it all the other babies like it when I hold them… I must being doing something wrong, he just doesn’t like me”. But we didn’t give up, after a while we made it our goal to make Tino smile.

Finally one day, he did.

Nyasha and I came into the ward to visit and a nurse said, “Tino smiled today—the others said it was gas, but I know he smiled.” Nyasha picked him up and there it was—a smile, he relaxed and they both smiled as Nyasha held him!

A few months later, several of the babies had been given homes in local orphanages and we were looking for adoptive homes for the rest when I got the news that a dear friend of mine who had two sons would be adopting Tino. She brought him home before Christmas and named him Ephraim.

When I returned to Zimbabwe I bumped into them in the grocery store and if I hadn’t known that she had adopted him, I would never have recognized him! He was big and chubby, smiling and CUDDLING HIM MOMMY!!! This was one of those moments that I will never, ever forget.

I was blessed to be able to spend Ephraim’s birthday with him. He was joined at his party by children from 2 local orphanages and they filled up on sweets and chocolate cake shaped in an ‘E’. Then they spent the afternoon running around and jumping in a bounce house!

Seeing the changes in Ephraim and Evans who was also at the party, made me remember all of the hours spent in the hospital with those little guys. There were stressful moments when the hospital had no water to make formula. There were hilarious moments like when I picked up a little baby and their poopy diaper exploded all over me, of course when I had to teach a class in 30 minutes!! There were devastating moments like when Edward died from an infection and there were moments to celebrate like when Evans went to Village of Hope and at 9 months old learned to sit up.

I am happy to say that each of the children that we originally met from the abandoned baby unit has found a home. Ephraim was adopted, several of the others including Evans and Kelsey were placed in orphanages and of course of little boy Edward has his home in Heaven. Their stories are just a few examples of what the Bible means when it says, “He sets the lonely in families.” God truly is a father to the fatherless and He allows us to each have a part in helping orphaned children find forever families. What a blessing it is to share in the lives of these special little babies.

There are so many more babies just like them that need a home…and so the work goes on.

My thoughts about packing::

2011-05-06T18:08:00.000+02:00

When I was a little girl and my grandparents would pull out my little suitcase and tell me we were going somewhere fabulous- it was ALWAYS somewhere fabulous, I would immediately start to pack, EVERYTHING.

Even as a child I was an overpacker, if I was going somewhere for the day, I would stuff as many things into my little girl purse as possible and still feel nervous that I wouldn’t have what I needed when I got there.
In my early 20’s I accepted the fact that I would always be an over-packer. If I was on a trip with a group, I would always have the most luggage. It was ok, I was comfortable that way.

The first few times I packed for trips to Zimbabwe were a nightmare. “3 suitcases of 70 pounds?? I will be gone a year!!!” Some of you were gracious enough to help me pack those bags. You witnessed my dilemma, what I wanted to take vs what was reasonable to take. What supplies were needed vs how much shampoo I thought would get me through!

Every year when I travel to Zim after visiting the States, I cry when it’s time to pack. I used to cry because I couldn't fit everything and I couldn’t imagine living without anything!

Today I am 31 and when I travel to Zimbabwe I get a luggage allowance of 2 bags of 50 pounds each thanks to high fuel prices! I have more people to buy gifts for than ever and I know more projects and more of their needs than ever before.

I have to understand that I cannot fit everything into 100 pounds.

“He who would travel happily must travel light.” – Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Today I am packing to travel to Michigan for a week to visit my grandma and family. It is mother’s day and my grandma’s birthday and it has been ages since I have been able to look in the eyes of the women who raised me and tell them I love them on this day. I do not take their sacrifices for granted.

I am also packing my bags for Zimbabwe, with the hope that after this week with them I will be getting back to my work!

Yesterday the doctor wrote a letter releasing me back to work after all of my medical treatments I wanted to dance my way out of Nashville General Hospital!

But today I am faced with the reality of packing. My tears today are not about putting stuff in a suitcase, I feel blessed to even have stuff and a case to put it in. I feel more blessed to have a journey. My tears are about the comings and the goings. You see, in order for me to go to Zimbabwe, I must leave the US. That has always been the problem… leaving behind the people who make my life special.

When people ask me about what my daily life looks like in Zimbabwe, they get sad when I tell them about the work that I do, they often say, “That must be so hard”. Yes it is, but what is harder is at the end of the day I come home to someone else’s family. I celebrate the birthdays of the relatives of others. I attend weddings of other people’s cousins. I am so grateful to the people in Zimbabwe that have made me a part of their family. There are too many to list. No matter how much I love them, I am still missing my own family.

I am blessed to have so many families and so many places that make me feel at home. The challenge comes in only being able to be in one place at a time… it means that I am always missing someone, somewhere.

Today is my last day in Nashville for a while. For those special people who have made me at home here, who have made me a part of their family, I will be eternally grateful. Nearly 3 months of medical care would been far more difficult without my best friend Natalie and her family and the dear people of Bluegrass Baptist Church.

My tears while packing today are not about shirts and shoes… even if it may look that way. Today my tears are about you. I will miss you.

I am my mother's daughter - redeemed.

2011-05-04T07:27:00.000+02:00

Today I had the pleasure of speaking with a group of women, mostly mothers who are in a long-term inpatient rehab facility. I was invited there by a new friend who thought the women would like to hear some of my story.

My heart broke for a group of women that I didn’t even know, because I know the pain of a mother who is separated from her child because of her addiction. I know the pain, because it was the pain of my mother.
As much as my heart hurt because I missed my mother, she was hurting too. It has taken me a long time to understand that… to feel compassion for her.

Mother’s day is around the corner and I have a special love for mothers. I have been blessed to have many mothers in my life, women who have come along side of me to walk through life with me, in a way that my own mother never could. Because of these women I have learned what Maya Angelou meant by, “A mother’s love liberates.”

Today, as I was sharing some of my story with these women, hoping to encourage them on their own journey to recovery, I was reminded of how much my life has changed. I feel so blessed to have experienced all that I have so far, but more blessed to realize that God is the hero in this story, and that all of the glory is His.
The word that I see woven all through this story of my life, is ‘Redeemed’. One definition of redeemed that I love is this: to restore the honor, worth or reputation of. I couldn’t redeem myself; I needed someone to help repair my honor and reputation. God did that for me… He continues to do that for me. I relate daily to the scripture that says, “He has redeemed my soul from going to the pit, And I will live to enjoy the light.”

Today, I live to enjoy the light… but I can remember what it feels like to be in the pit. Perhaps that is why I can still relate to women who feel they are there, experiencing some of their darkest moments. I love seeing their teary eyes fill with hope when they hear that the redemption I have received is freely available to them as well.

Today as I shared my story, the story of me and my mother, I saw a beautiful thing happen. I saw a glimpse of the bigger picture. I saw the pain being healed and the ashes being made beautiful. Today as women came to me, thankful for the messages I shared, I got a glimpse of my mother’s legacy. And for maybe the first time ever, I was proud of her. I am my mother’s daughter. And the product of the love of a group of women who stood in the gap and gave me what my mother couldn’t. I know this truth, “There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own.” ~Robert Brault

For anyone who is a mother, Happy Mother's Day.

My thoughts on the death of Osama Bin Laden...

2011-05-03T06:31:00.002+02:00

Ever since I first heard the news last night that Osama Bin Laden was dead, that the military had finally captured him, I have had mixed emotions. I felt conflicted- relieved that we can stop talking about the search for him and yet sad at the idea that a man who caused so much pain and death has met his death and will now face judgement.

One thing is true, I will not rejoice or celebrate his death. His death does not make me feel safe nor does it make me feel relieved. I do not feel any more or less protected than I did yesterday... I have however felt saddened by the facebook and twitter posts that are celebratory, as if we have won something. I have thought multiple times over the past 24 hours that if someone murdered my relative and was being executed --would i go to watch? Maybe. Would I be dancing in the street and throwing a party? Probably not. I am not sure that I would feel as if I've won anything and that is how I feel now. I do not feel as if his body is a prize. I was struggling with my mixed emotions and then I read this, from a blog of a friend of mine that I respect greatly. He wrote,

"Death is the most powerful weapon at our disposal. It was Bin Laden's greatest power - death and the fear of the death. Today we see that it is America's great power. His reign was ended with his own weapon. It has always been this way. The kings of the earth kill one another. Some will argue that there are times when killing is justified. I am torn on that matter. What I do know is that the world runs on the fear of death.

Our King understood this. So, he attacked the biggest enemy itself. Our King died to beat death. While every other King who has ever lived used death to gain power, Jesus the Christ died to gain power. And our King is the only King to ever beat death"

Today I am reminded of a quote spoken a long time ago by another man that I respect...Martin Luther King jr. He said, "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." ~MLK jr.

I do not believe in hate. I do not believe in murder. I do not believe in vengeance. I believe in LOVE. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in justice. I believe in hope. I believe in LOVE.

I believe that there has only been one death that has ever brought peace. It did not happen last night, but it was celebrated by many last week.

My heart aches for everyone affected by September 11 and the events that have followed. I believe every American has been. At the very least, we have been made afraid... very afraid. But the death of Osama Bin Laden cannot erase the fear of death, not in my opinion. Only Jesus can do that. I am proud to be an American. But I am a Christian first, an American
second... my journey through life in Zimbabwe has taught me that.

This is just my opinion... I will leave you with a few thoughts of my biggest hero, and you can form your own.

"As sure as I am the living God, I take no pleasure from the death of the wicked. I want the wicked to change their ways and live. Turn your life around! Reverse your evil ways! " Ezekial 33:11 (MSG)

"I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." John 10:10 (MSG)

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!" Matthew 5:43 (NLT)

Last words...

2011-04-28T09:22:00.000+02:00

"Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world."

This was the last sentence of the last blog posting that David Wilkerson would ever write.

This is a man who has influenced and inspired so many people around the world. He was brave and strong and fought the good fight and because of that, the world is a better place.

I love that the last thing he would ever write to us is so timely. Even in death, our God never acts out of a place other than goodness and love. He can't, it's just who He is. I love that even from heaven tonight Pastor David speaks to us and tells us to grab hold of faith and the Word... the only hope for the world.

Again I am reminded of the question on my heart, "Who do I want to be in this story". Tonight my heart also asks, "What does my life speak to the world?"

May his family find comfort in this painful time and prayers go out for his wife who is in critical condition tonight.

HEART

2011-04-18T11:14:00.029+02:00

I came to Nashville over Valentines Day to visit one of my oldest (as in we've been friends the longest not that she is old) and dearest friends. Natalie and I have been partners in crime for as long back as I can remember. She knows the deepest secrets of my heart.

I got to visit her because she moved to Nashville and I was coming here to participate in a conference with a group of volunteers from ROCK of Africa Mission.

I was having some health problems in Zimbabwe that needed to be checked out and I thought I would take the time to do that while I was visiting Natalie. I scheduled a week for that...two and a half months later and I am STILL here! I am so grateful that I get to be with my best friend while I walk through this emotional time.

The past couple of weeks I have been faced with some news that these health issues might be more serious that I had originally thought. That quite possibly, I might have a heart problem. I have clung to this verse in the midst of emotional and physical exhaustion:

Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.

Having to wrap my mind around what the doctors were saying was an interesting process. It made me think A LOT about what my heart means to me. I looked up the definition of heart and this is what I found:

HEART noun /härt/

A hollow muscular organ that pumps the blood through the circulatory system by rhythmic contraction and dilation. In vertebrates there may be up to four chambers (as in humans), with two atria and two ventricles
The heart regarded as the center of a person's thoughts and emotions, esp. love or compassion
Courage or enthusiasm
People who know me often comment about my heart: my heart for Jesus and for people, my heart for Africa, my heart for the hurting. They are talking about love and compassion. They are talking about courage and enthusiasm. But as I start to doubt this hollow muscular organ in my chest, I have started to realize that I take my heart for granted. I can't think of a time in recent months when I have thanked God for my heartbeat. But today I realize that I have no control over my heart, it's beating or it's functions. Life in Zimbabwe, when I am faced with the reality of so many who are sick, often makes me grateful for my health. But lately I have been overlooking these simple things that mean so much-like my heartbeat.

But I am not just grateful for my heartbeat. I am also grateful for the heart God has given me. These are not just personality traits that have developed over a lifetime, they are the qualities that God gave us when He decided who He would make us to be. He put a deep desire in each of our hearts, and He gave us qualities that would help us to obtain that desire. Because of my desire to love and be loved and to share compassion with people around the world, I am living a life greater than I had ever dared to dream. Today, even after months of doctors appointments, my heart is grateful for this life...because it took a long time for me to figure out that I had the desires of my heart all wrong...

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart

PS. I do not have a heart problem, the cardiologist gave me a clean bill of health and said my heart (the hollow muscular organ one) is strong and healthy and will absolutely NOT interfere with the desires of this other kind of heart. PTL <3

Forgiveness-- who I want to be.

2011-04-14T04:33:00.001+02:00

"Life is so much more than mere existence. Faith lifts us above simple existence and gives us true meaning and purpose, ESPECIALLY in times of suffering." Gayle Haggard from Why I Stayed.

I have been reading a book by Gayle Haggard. It is the story of her life and marriage. Her husband Ted, was the center of a very heartbreaking and public betrayal. Her story of forgiveness is a beautiful picture of how we are all meant to live. She is inspiring me beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Several times in the books she mentions that on difficult days she would ask herself a question. "Who do I want to be in this story?" I have found myself asking this question more and more often lately as well. And in those moments, my answer always leads me to an action that is loving and kind. Because the truth of the matter is that I want to be a person that is more like Jesus: loving, gracious, forgiving and kind. But sometimes I need a reminder, it doesn't always comes naturally!

Gayle also says that Love is forgiveness. I am holding onto this today. I want to be a person of forgiveness.

I have loved reading her story, and I have learned so much. This quote means so much to me because it is true in my life. My faith has given me a meaning and a purpose. My faith has given me a LIFE.

I love you 2011

2011-01-18T07:26:00.006+02:00

I can just feel that 2011 is going to be a great year. It has started out so fabulously!

For those of you who follow the important details of my life you know that Nyasha, my amazing Zimbabwean boyfriend, came to the US for the first time to meet my family and some of my friends. My family sees all of the good in him that I do, and I am happy to say that his trip was so much fun!

DisneyLand

Hollywood!


At Nyasha's first bball game-- Spartan Stadium.

He also came bearing VERY good news that Zimbabwean immigration has approved my application for my work permit! When I return to Zimbabwe, I will return as a legal resident, with permission to do my work!

Nyasha had to leave to go back to Zimbabwe for school and I will miss him terribly, however I am looking forward to spending some more time time with my family before I return to Zimbabwe.... and I am VERY excited to see what this year holds for us when I return!

2011 has started out to be a very, very good year!!

If you want me to

2010-11-19T09:56:00.000+02:00

I have a Zimbabwean friend who is living in the States right now and I love her heart and how she is sacrificing that desire to chase her own will and instead following the will of God in her life. It takes just as much strength and faith and obedience to leave her home and live in mine as it does for me to leave behind the USA and head to Zimbabwe! I love you Lisa Rouse, and I am so very proud of you!When chatting I mentioned a song that moves me and she said it's one of her favorites too.

I think that music speaks to our hearts so beautifully, it's a precious gift from God.

This is a song that has been kind of like a theme song to me during my time in Zimbabwe. it serves as a reminder that no matter how easy or how difficult each individual moment or day is, that I am here and I will be here in Zimbabwe for as long as God asks this of me...for no other reason than because He wants me to.

I hope it blesses you as much as it does me!

If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens

Here are the Lyrics:

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to

More Praising Than Prayer...

2010-11-18T01:54:00.002+02:00

Thursday November 18, 2010 is the day that I have been waiting for... the day my file for application of a work permit in Zimbabwe will make it's way into the meeting room of the Labour Board with a seal of approval from Zimbabwe Immigration.

There is no guarantee that my file will even be looked at, and if it is, there is no guarantee that my request will be approved. I am praying that my file (which is one of hundreds) somehow find it's way into the hands of the board and that they look upon it with favor.

So for now, I am praying. And praising.

I had a great reminder from a very dear and wise friend this week. I had sent out an email asking people to pray about this and her response was,
"It'll be approved! We know how God works ;0) I'll do more praising than prayer!"

What a great reminder that we all have so much to praise Him for, and that even in the midst of asking for our hearts desire we can thank God for providing just that!

Thanksgiving is such a great time of the year to praise anyway! So just in case you needed a little reminder too...

Therefore I will praise you, LORD, among the nations; I will sing the praises of your name. Psalm 18:49

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28: 6-8

You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. Psalm 59:17

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. Psalm 69:30

I have so much to praise God for today...5 years ago today I stepped foot on Zimbabwean soil for the first time, and a journey began that would change me for ever! Praise the Lord that He knows what we need so much more than we do!

I am including some pictures, random snapshots of some of the special, early moments of my time in Zimbabwe for a more complete assortment of pictures, you can visit my facebook page!

Africa is Different

2010-10-14T13:45:00.007+02:00

Another story from long ago….
March 2006

I love being with Pastor Chris and Rhoda. I am trying to adapt to life in Africa. I am in Zambia, and not really feeling settled yet, I know that I am supposed to be in Zimbabwe and I am trying to be patient and to wait for God to send me across the border. I am so close, I could walk there, and yet it seems so very far away!

It is hard to get in touch with everyone because we either have to use dial up internet at home that is so very slow or wireless internet at a café that is so sow and unreliable. I am lonely and homesick but trying to push through.

All of Pastor Chris’s family is so great to me. They are so patient and they laugh at the fact that I am amazed by the lizards and some of the other things I see running around the house and yard and they really find it funny that I am so afraid of the spiders, and bugs and RATS!

Rhoda is so hospitable and every meal has been served with such love. I am trying to eat everything that they cook for me (but they feed me way too MUCH and way too OFTEN) but I have to be honest… not everything is amazing… some things are scary.
It seems as if every night that I taste some meat that I don’t recognize and I ask, “Rhoda what kind of meat is this?” the answer is usually something I would rather not hear, like, “intestines or stomach or livers” of some sort of animal.

But tonight was different. This evening when I got home, I saw that we are having fish for dinner. Delicious Bream from the Zambezi. Finally something familiar—I can eat fish, I like fish! I noticed in the pan that the WHOLE fish is cooked—from the head to the tail. Different than what I am used to—but fish is fish, right?

But then, just as we were sitting down for dinner, the phone rang and it was my boss, Glen calling from the States. As I listened and answered his questions, I kept thinking “they are probably waiting for me for dinner, I need to go.” But after about 30 minutes I could hear that they just went ahead and got started. It was so nice to talk with someone from the States, that I almost didn’t mind missing dinner with the family.

After I got off the phone, Rhoda apologized for the family eating without me and then said, “but we saved you the best part” I looked at my plate and there was the head of the giant tasty Zambezi bream – it’s mouth open seemingly mocking me and it’s eye staring straight at me!

I didn’t really know how to eat the head of a fish, but with the whole family sitting around talking to me—I did the best that I could!
I wonder how long it will be until I can cross over the border to the place that calls to my heart. I am waiting (sometimes patiently, sometimes not). Zimbabwe here I come!

Homesickness...

2010-10-13T13:45:00.000+02:00

I have a new friend who has made a commitment to move from the States to spend a few months in Zim. After less than a week he called and changed his ticket to return home immediately. After spending a little time with him it became clear that he was homesick. My friends and I embraced him and loved on him and are trying to help him settle in here. I am glad that he changed his mind and decided to stay where God has called him, but it was a good reminder for me that we all get homesick.

Even after four and a half years in Zimbabwe, I have days when I am lonely for my friends and family and homesick for America. Today is one of those days… nothing is really wrong, so many things have gone really well today… and yet I am still just a little sad in my heart and I know that the reason for that is just that I am far away from my HOME.

This past week we started 2 new sessions of Training Hearts for Jesus. We have one group of parents meeting on Mondays and Fridays and another group meeting on Saturdays – I have been so pleased with the turn out and the reputation that Training Hearts is developing in Zimbabwe. In order to meet the needs of all the parents who want to be in the class we have to run two at one time. Please pray for me that I can keep up with the added hours to my schedule and give these parents all the time and effort that they deserve, and that God will use this class to help the people who come to it to make the changes their families need!

For more information about Training Hearts for Jesus or to find a class in California, check out this blog

Throwback Thursday!

2010-09-30T13:41:00.000+02:00

I often get emails/ facebook messages from people who read this blog asking about how I came to live in Zimbabwe, or what it was like when I first moved here. This blog was started long after I moved here for a couple of reasons:
1. I didn’t really think the stories were interesting enough that people would want to read them and
2. The internet access in Vic Falls, where I was living at the time was atrocious and the effort it would take to post a blog would have driven me mad with frustration!

As some of you know, I made a commitment to a very special new friend, that I would write one chapter a month this year, so that at the end of the year I will have what might possibly be, my first book. As I am doing that (sometimes more faithfully and more skilled than other times) I am being reminded of some of the stories from when life in Zimbabwe was so new to me.

I am going to start posting one of these “old” stories every Thursday! I hope you enjoy them!

November 2005

(My first Zimbabwean experience:: On a two week short-term mission trip with ROCK of Africa to Victoria Falls, Gwaayi River and Livingstone)

I didn’t want to come to Zimbabwe. I don’t honestly understand how I got here, but I know that I don’t like it. I know that it is hot, dusty and I am sweaty.
Today my heart has changed. If I am honest, this place, Zimbabwe meant nothing to me. I knew nothing of its people, its history or its landmarks.

The first few days here, have been frustrating. I know that I am missing the big picture. I know that God is trying to show me something and I am missing it. I am standing in the midst of children in poverty stricken villages who are hungry and I am feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t know how powerful my selfishness was until now.

Today I met some boys who live on the street. They could draw sympathy from even the most uncompassionate heart, standing in a parking lot- dirty, smelling like a mixture of dust, sweat and gross beer. They are young. One of the first things I noticed is that most of them are barefoot.

For some reason my heart resonates this deep feeling of understanding, as if I have known them before, as if I am like them. I have never looked like them. I have never smelled like them. But after talking to them for a bit, I know that I have felt like them.

It might surprise people to hear that a girl obsessed with shoes would relate to a group of barefoot boys, but I did.

They each tell stories of abandonment or betrayal. Some have been abandoned because their parents have died; others have parents who left the country to work elsewhere. Some feel betrayed because their parents divorced and remarried and they don’t fit anywhere. One of them has a blind parent who sends him to the street to beg. I know that some of their stories are lies, some are true. But one thing I believe is that each of them, regardless of whether it is true or not, feels unloved.

I know that feeling. I have felt it since I was 8 years old. Since my parents divorced and left me and my little brother with my grandparents in 1987. Whether it was true or not was irrelevant, for more than 15 years my wounded heart carried a banner that said, “I am unloved”. And it made the world a much less beautiful place. This feeling caused me to run away, just like many of these boys. I sometimes physically ran away, but I often emotionally ran away- hiding in alcohol, drugs, sex or later shopping and food.
I sat with these boys for quite a while. I bought them a meal of sadza (the staple diet of the people in Zimbabwe- really it is a lump of corn meal) and beef with vegetables and listened to them. We might have looked like an odd bunch, me and these boys. But what people couldn’t see and wouldn’t know is the truth that stopped me dead in my tracks the first time I laid eyes on this group of street kids:

I am just like them.

What they look like on the outside is what I feel like on the inside.
They wear the truth of their abandonment on the outside in the form of dirt covered pee stained clothes. I wear the truth of my abandonment on the inside in the form of mismanaged emotions and the need for excess and control.
We are all the same, me and these boys, and my heart will forever be changed.

September 26th... were you praying?

2010-09-29T17:36:00.001+02:00

South Africa is looking to you, Zimbabwe to show Africa how to manage race relations.

That is what Angus said, when he spoke Saturday night to a group of about 4,000 (mostly white) Zimbabweans.

This event kicked off Operation Trumpet Call which is a call to the churches to unite together for the transformation of the country. It is obvious to anyone who spends even a short amount of time in Zimbabwe, with either white or black Zimbabweans, that racial tension must be dealt with before the nation can be transformed, unity is necessary. Operation Trumpet Call rolled out its vision on Sunday morning after asking all of the churches in Harare to cancel their services and meet together at the Civic Centre. They announced that Zim is facing record food shortages this year and that in order to feed the nation, we are going to have to find a way to come up with the 1,000,000 tons of maize that we are estimated to lack. Scott Marques, the visionary behind

OTC said that we only have 3 options:

1. Beg (Once again taking aid from organizations and nations that have created donor dependence in Zimbabwe for decades now.)

2. Steal (Seems unlikely)

3. Plant (Individuals must make up what the commercial farmers are not producing)

OTC is asking each Christian home to plant 25 meters x 25 meters of maize in the manor Foundations for Farming teaches. Obviously not every family will have the space but if some do more and some do less we will average out with a surplus of maize to feed our people and our animals! Zimbabwe will not NEED maize donations this year!

On Sunday morning, Angus Buchan joined forces with Zimbabwe’s church leaders to encourage Christians to do what they can to make a difference. However, for me the true “trumpet call” was when Angus stood on stage Saturday night and spoke to a much smaller group of people. The stage was in Chisipete a suburb of Harare and the audience was mostly white. As an observer I would say that many of the people there, would not be found at the Sunday morning meeting the next day, nor would they normally be found in a church.

Angus started by saying “I am a foreigner, I was not born in Zimbabwe, but I am here because I love you.” Tears poured from my eyes as my heart deeply related with the words that caused this older man’s voice to crack as he spoke.
He spoke of love, which he called the greatest of all forces. He spoke of the love that Jesus has for all of us, and the love that he personally has for Jesus- which motivates him to come to Zimbabwe now. He told a story of the night that Jesus took a towel and washed the feet of His disciples. He said that Jesus chose to wash the feet of these friends, even though He knew that Thomas would doubt him, that Peter would deny knowing him- three times and that Judas would betray Him and hand him over to the ones that would crucify Him. Even knowing all of that, Jesus still chose to humble himself before His friends and wash their feet.

Angus called us to forgive. He said that he knew that many people have been hurt, black and white alike. He said that many have lost farms, loved ones and cherished possessions. He related that to the story of Job who in the Bible, lost everything. That many have been betrayed, mistreated and oppressed. He recognized the sin of this nation and he said like Job’s friends, he came to us- the nation-of
Zimbabwe to weep and mourn with us in our time of greatest loss.

But then he got on his knees and He prayed with us, asking for forgiveness where we have been wrong; wrong to God and to each other. And He asked us to pray as well. He asked us to unite, to put aside our prejudices and hardened hearts and to forgive one another- to walk in love with one another.

And then He said, tomorrow (Sunday Sept 26, 2010- the international day of prayer for zim) that many people around the world were going to be praying for the people of Zimbabwe. And he said that the people of South Africa who have their own racial problems were looking to Zimbabwe, to the Christians of Zimbabwe, to lead the way. To mark out a path, showing others how to overcome the injustice and hate in the world.

I know that Zimbabwe has faced massive difficulties. I know that people have been killed or beaten in wars for this land; people have been killed or beaten as land has been taken from white farmers. People have been oppressed and mistreated; others have been retaliated on in violent ways. This country has been separated by hate, pride and greed for far too long. I believe that if the church will step up, this nation CAN unite together to overcome the circumstances we have caused for ourselves by hate, pride and greed and we WILL find a way to forgiveness and unity.

The transformation of the agriculture in Zimbabwe that Operation Trumpet Call is asking us to be a part of, is only possible if we unite: black, white, Indian or Asian and put aside our differences and our bitterness and work toward a common goal: the feeding of our people.

Please continue to pray with the people of Zimbabwe for this nation. As one pastor said as we departed on Sunday, “This is not over, this is just the beginning”. My prayer is that each Christian home in Zimbabwe is preparing their plot of land, getting ready for November 25, when we are told by FfF to plant, and preparing their hearts to forgive, for we cannot accomplish such a massive task as producing 1,000,000 tons of maize, with the heavy load of bitterness weighing us down.

My heart is grateful that I am blessed to be in Zimbabwe as such a time as this. I hope the world is watching as this nation united together to display what can happen when people allow God to heal their hearts!

Big things are happening in Zimbabwe

2010-09-22T19:11:00.000+02:00

This is such a fun time to be in Zimbabwe. Joyce Meyer visiting Harare with amazing worship from Hillsong and a phenomenal group of pastors from the States really WAS the start of something great!

This weekend Angus Buchan (the real life farmer from the movie 'Faith Like Potatoes') will be here to speak on Saturday night. He is then taking part in Operation Trumpet Call which is an event that hopes to unite the church to transform the nation (especially in regards to agriculture which is a hot topic as always in Zimbabwe!) For more information please see www.lovezim.org

"The condition for a miracle is difficulty, however the condition for a great miracle is not difficulty, but impossibility" Angus Buchan ~Faith Like Potatoes

I believe that we are in a miraculous time for this nation!

THEN, next week I am even more excited because Nicole C Mullen is coming for a worship concert! I have loved her music for quite a while! She is most famous, I think for a song called "My Redeemer" however, my favorite song of hers is called "Music of my Heart"

The lyrics to the song are:

I'm not ashamed to tell the whole world, oh
Without you, I'm nothing at all
That I have strings in need of mending
I'm out of tune in certain parts
So strum the chords of mercy
Restore my soul completely
Lay your hand upon me
And this instrument will breathe

[Chorus]
'Cause you're the music of my heart
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The melody within my soul
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The song that holds me in the dark
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The fire that warms me when I'm cold
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The symphony that calms my fear
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The lyric that I long to hear
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah)
The masterpiece, the work of art
Complete before I start
The music of my heart

Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Creator of all that is lovely, oh
Write a tune upon my heart
And when you finish will you play me
Like a beautiful guitar?
Strum the chords of mercy
Restore my soul completely
Breathe life into me
And this instrument will sing

[Repeat Chorus]

Of my heart
I'm captivated
(Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Heart)
Of my heart
My soul's elated
(Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Heart)
Of my heart
Because
Every single line's full of love divine
Write me like a valentine

[Repeat Chorus]

Yeah, the music of my heart
Of my heart
The music of my heart
Of my heart
The music of my heart

Sometimes Music Says it Best...

2010-09-18T17:20:00.000+02:00

For anyone who has ever been in a relationship, you will probably relate.
I have a friend who is hurting deeply right now, and I think this song will help her....I thought I would share it here, in case it can help you too!

I was blessed to be able to hear Sara sing live in February and have been singing along with her music on itunes ever since!

Sara Groves "It's Me"

Lessons from a (Coach) handbag

2010-09-08T17:40:00.000+02:00

As most of you know, I am a shopaholic… a reformed – or at least reforming shopaholic, but one none-the-less! I am a follower of Jesus and currently serving as a volunteer missionary in Zimbabwe. I will tell you this, there is no surer way to kick a shopping addiction than to move to Zimbabwe! For many of the past four and a half years that I have been here, we have had to leave the country even to buy groceries! But, I haven’t changed completely and when I visit friends and family in the States, it is a challenge to not become overwhelmed with the lovely things to behold at every shop I walk past!

On my last trip home to the States (at the beginning of 2010), I saw a handbag in a department store that I fell in love with. It was a Coach bag, but not just any COACH bag, it was gorgeous. My (2nd hand, no brand) purse had been stolen in Zimbabwe in June of 2009 and I was desperately in the market for a bag, any bag would do, when I stumbled across the bag that would change my life. (Now, I know I sound dramatic, but stay with me—this bag has indeed changed my life!)
I didn’t buy the bag. I wanted to buy the bag, but remember I have been living with no salary for years…come on people; I wasn’t going to be able to afford a coach bag. My grandma (as usual) was right, “a missionary in Zimbabwe does not need that bag”. BUT, this missionary to Zimbabwe, WANTED that bag. Badly. Like, so badly that I considered giving up this life, getting a job and buying the bag. But I quickly realized I was never going to be able to justify giving up my current lifestyle over a purse—that was pushing it, even for me.

A month after seeing the bag, I had gotten over it and realized as I prepared to go back to Zimbabwe, that I didn’t really need the bag. (But I still wanted it). I have to raise all of the money that I spend living and working in Zimbabwe. My friends and family, (mainly you great people who are reading this) make this possible by donating generously to ROCK of Africa, who sends me here. I was having a garage sale to raise some of the money I needed to return and when I took all of the items that didn’t sell to the local Goodwill, my mouth dropped open on the last of multiple trips. By then I had made friends with all of the men who were helping me unload the car and they knew that I was getting ready to return to Zimbabwe. My mouth dropped open in shock, when I was getting ready to leave because I saw my bag, that beautiful, special, I-just-gotta-have-it Coach bag-sitting in one of the Goodwill trucks. I quickly asked, “Is that someone’s bag or is it a donation?” My new friend said, “It’s a donation.” My heart got so excited! “When will it make it into the store, I just have to buy that bag!” This man will probably never know that his next few words would mean so much, “Here, it’s yours.”
This bag changed my life, not because it was a great bag (which it was) but because of the lessons I have learned from that beautiful-just for me- Coach bag… and here is what I have learned.

Lesson #1: God really does care about the desires of my heart.

The Bible says in Psalm 37:4 “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I love this verse. I have learned so many lessons around this verse in the past few years. I have learned that when I find my joy and pleasure in the time I spend with Lord the desires of my heart begin to match His will for my life and then, pretty quickly, they start to materialize.

Even still, I often find myself thinking that God couldn’t possibly care about the silly little desires of my heart, like wanting a sunny day on the beach for my birthday or a coach purse that I saw in a shop… but He does. He cares about every aspect of my heart and when I opened that Coach bag for the first time and saw the card that said, “Thank you for purchasing Coach” my heart swelled with joy. Not because the bag was new, and free and beautiful, but because the miraculous way in which it made itself to me, was proof that God loves me enough to care about even my silly little unimportant desires. I am important to Him… just as I am.

Lesson #2: Jesus loves me.

From that day forward, I have called that amazing bag, my “Jesus loves me purse”.
People ask me why and I love telling them the story of how it became mine. People LOVE the story. Not because I tell it with such excitement, but I think deep down, when they hear the story, something resonates with them as well. Such a small thing as a purse has helped me to share the Gospel with people in several countries and in a non threatening way. It is my hope, that they walk away thinking of all the little things in their life that point to the truth that “God loved the world so much that He gave his only son” (John 3:16)

Lesson #3: From time to time, I need a reminder about how much I am loved.

There are some days that are just hard. Bad, grouchy, ugly days. I do not like those days. On those days my heart doesn’t naturally whistle the tune to the song I learned so long ago in Sunday School, “Jesus loves me this I know…” Because even though I do KNOW, I don’t always FEEL it. On those days I need a reminder. For me, my purse served as a reminder. On really bad days I could look at those gold rings, the chocolate leather and especially the hot pink squares and remember, “You love me so much that not only have you saved me from certain death, an insignificant life and a bleak eternity, but you also bless me on a regular basis with more than I need and want and hope for.” That purse from Jesus was a reminder of His love for me as bold and clear as a husband sending his wife roses to work for no reason at all. Or a teenager giving his girlfriend a mix CD of all the songs that remind him of her. We all need reminders that we are loved, out of the blue, very obvious, statements of love. My purse was that, clear and obvious enough for me to grasp even when things seemed to fall apart and confuse me.

Lesson #4: I have an enemy who does try to steal, kill and destroy. I must pay attention

This is the hard one. This weekend, I was sitting in my car after speaking at a youth event. I needed a break. I needed some quiet time. I needed to be alone. I parked my car in a church parking lot and I read, and I sat by myself in the quiet, not having to answer to anyone. It was amazing, for about 15 minutes. After that I saw a car park behind me. Then a big man got out of the car and walked past my window to the church door. He immediately turned around and went back to his car. I went back to my reading and my peace of mind.

A few minutes later my car was shaking. I saw in my mirror a man was by my tire. I thought he had fallen. I asked “Are you ok?” Then saw his HUGE knife. “What are you doing?” He said, “Oh sorry madam” and then ran to the car and they sped off… with my purse. My just-for-me-gift-from-God-beautiful Coach purse. And all my money, my driver’s license, house keys, Bible and all the other goodies a girl keeps in her favorite purse. And they left me all alone, with a flat tire.
As I was filling out the police report (4 hours later as that’s how long it takes to get a new tire on a Saturday afternoon in Harare), my heart kept hurting as I realized that I would never again look at that bag and be reminded of God’s love for me. And at that moment, I could have really used a reminder. That night as I was praying and thanking God for keeping me safe, in what could’ve been a very awful situation, I learned another lesson from my purse.

The Bible says, “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10). The two men that took my purse have no idea the story behind it. They know it was valuable and they know that they stole my money and my things, but they do not know what it means. But Satan does. He gets it. He hates me, because he hates my God. In a silly but very real way, that purse helped me do what I do here, which is to bring Glory to the God I serve. The enemy of my soul despises anything that brings Glory to God. That means me and anything that helps me remember who I serve. That means my purse. Sometimes I forget how real of a battle is going on around me. The enemy will steal anything from me, hoping to distract me from the love of God. He will destroy anything (my marriage, my family, my church) if it means I will forget who I serve. He will even try to kill me if that is what it takes, but no matter what happens to me I can still choose to stand firm and praise my God.

Lesson #5: If I let Him, God will take even the worst things that happen to me and make them seem alright, and maybe even good!

There has been an amazing man in my life since May 2009. His name is Nyasha. I love him. I have loved him for quite a while. I have prayed for him since the day I became a Christian. He is everything I have asked God for in a husband: He is a REAL- ON FIRE Christian. He understands, loves and respects my work. He wants to adopt babies. He listens to me and (although not as much as I would want) talks to me. He shares openly about his heart, his fears, his hopes. He works hard and is very smart. He is in Bible school. He is really, really good looking (I put this last so that you will think I’m less shallow than I am, haha)

I fell in love with Nyasha last June, at the Avondale police station in Harare. My car had just been broken in to and my laptop and basically everything was stolen. (It might sound like it, but this is very rare… I have had so few experiences with theft in Zimbabwe, but with the economy being so bad—I guess it happens). Nyasha and a few of my other friends went with me to fill out the police report. It was traumatic, I was sad. Nyasha took care of everything, all the questions all the details and in between questions from the police he sat next to me and prayed. He sent me text messages about God’s faithfulness. He calmed me down and stole my heart.

(This is relevant so please stay with me)

My life in Zimbabwe is hard. It’s harder than I ever wanted it to be. I live so differently than anything I ever imagined. I am an outsider everywhere I go now, even in the States. I miss my family, my friends, my dog, my career, the American lifestyle, shopping, being independent. If I allow myself to think of my life and what I miss, it is overwhelming. I can get depressed, angry or just feel sorry for myself so quickly.

Over the past 15 months since I fell in love with Nyasha life has beaten us up. Both of us. Nothing has been easy. Zimbabwe is a racially charged nation because of all of the hurts and injustices that have taken place here. Everyone has an opinion about the politics and somehow race=politics. Nyasha is black, I am white. That means life is hard. Nyasha is African, I am American. That means life is harder. My family is worried about me living in Zimbabwe, marrying someone here would mean more permanence than any American parent would want for their child. On top of that, life happens. Work is hard, finances are harder. Friendships are strained and relatives die. There are ups and downs and celebrations and sadness and throughout them all we have an enemy that hates us. We have both made mistakes and both hurt each other and through it all, we have had an enemy that enjoys stealing.

I have let the same enemy that stole my purse, steal my love. He didn’t come with a knife and slash my tires, but he came with words. Words that were strategically whispered into my ears when my heart was hurting, words that said, ‘he doesn’t love you like he says he does’ or ‘this will never work’ or ‘you know that no one will ever love you because of who you were’. Those kinds of words can sound so believable when life is ugly and hard and exhausting.
The enemy wants me to leave Zimbabwe. For those of you who have been on this journey with me, you know this to be true. Sometimes I consider it, but God always reminds me of what He has called me to.

I broke up with Nyasha recently. He is the best man I have ever known and I listened to the words of a thief that told me it wasn’t enough.
But the Bible promises me that no plan formed against me will prosper. That God will take the bad moments and make them good.

When the thieves stole my purse and left me with a flat tire, I called Nyasha. He loves me still and he came to my rescue… even though he had other things to do, important things, like cricket practice. 4 hours later we ended up where we began: at the Avondale police station making a report. I looked at the man sitting next to me, once again taking care of everything. He is not the same as the man I fell in love with a year ago. He is changed. He is stronger, he is older, he is wiser, he is funnier, he is more godly, he loves the Lord more and he is better to his family. He can now change a diaper and hold a baby and he refuses to stand for injustices in his nation. He chases his dreams and fights for the people he loves.
Sitting at the Avondale police station, I wanted to cry for what has been stolen from me. Not the purse that seemed to say, “Your God loves you so much that He will give you the silly desires of your heart.” But the man, whose presence in my life said, “Your God has been listening to every prayer that you have you ever said, every thought you have ever had and every tear you have ever cried. He loves you so much that He will not only give you a man that meets all of the criteria you have asked for, but one even better than that. He has granted you the desires of your heart that you didn’t even know were desires.” That is what I would have heard if I had not been listening to the lies whispered by the voice of the thief.

But God can make good out of bad. I am trusting that as God has changed my heart, and allowed me to see the truth again, that it will not be too late for me and the man I love. Please pray for us. I am not sure what the future holds for me and Mr. Nyasha Chari, but whatever it is, I know that God loves us both and He can be trusted. I know that God has a plan that meets the deepest desires of BOTH of our hearts.

And just as the purse on my arm was a reminder of God’s love, the absence of that purse will now serve as a reminder that if I am not mindful, the great gifts that God gives me will be stolen by the one who hates me. And a reminder that even in the ugly moments, God is bringing beauty from ashes, blessings from curses and good things from the bad.

Mozambiquan Birthday Adventure

2010-07-28T18:11:00.001+02:00

I am officially 31!

I had the most amazing adventure traveling from Harare to Tofo, Mozambique!

I will be posting pictures and stories soon, bur for now if you want to see them, you can check out my facebook page!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=184113&id=743503576

I am the President of the Taps Fan Club!

2010-06-30T13:58:00.000+02:00

Taps and Simba trying to make a fire at home! I love these guys!

I love this kid! Whether he is ministering to the kids where he grew up at St. Josephs, playing with the little ones at Harare Children's Home, messing around with his best friend Simba at home, singing to kids at a school or old people in a retirement community or even revealing his song to gigantic crowds of people with Joyce Meyer and Hillsong, he brings joy to this nation as soon as he steps off the plane.

I miss him so very much when he is not here, but he inspires me with the courage and humility in which he chases after his dreams. Taps really is one of a kind!


The cake we had made for a surprise party for Taps and the guys at St. Joe's. I think he was overwhelmed with the reception he got when he walked in the room!


Rehearsing with a class of kids before they sang at their school's assembly. They had planned to sing "We are the World" and asked Taps to join them. He also sang Africa for them! Here he was giving them a private "concert". They all fell in love with him!

Serenading the old folks!

I miss you Tapsy Poo!!

Longing for the kitchen...

2010-06-16T13:15:00.000+02:00

Hi everyone!

I would really appreciate your prayers! I have been living in Harare since April, when I returned to Zimbabwe and it's been a bigger adjustment that I anticipated! I miss Vic Falls terribly (the people, my old house, the weather, the high density and especially the magnificent falls).

In Harare, I have been staying in Borrowdale (a wealthy suburb) with an amazing family. You have all heard me talk about Sue and Graham Williams and their amazingly beautiful and special daughter, Asher. When I used to visit Harare, I would stay with the Williams family and their beautiful home has become a sanctuary for me. But, now that I am living here something is not sitting well with me. I have avoided that typical "missionary" picture that we see in Africa, where white missionaries come from the western world and somehow manage to live a similar lifestyle to what they left behind. I have been very intentional about living in the high density, so that I can understand the lifestyle of the majority of Zimbabweans and to help immerse myself in the culture more quickly.

I am hoping to find a situation in Harare similar to the one that I had in Vic Falls. When I first moved to Vic Falls, I lived with Bheki and Jannet--in their kitchen! Some days I thought I would never survive, but I did, we all did and those first 18 months are the most special memories I have of my time in Zimbabwe. I don't necessarily want to move back into a kitchen, but a bedroom in the home of a Christian family in one of the high density of Harare would be amazing! Please pray that God will provide a home and a family for me soon!

Joyce Meyer

2010-06-07T15:35:00.000+02:00

This was a HUGE weekend for the nation of Zimbabwe.

Joyce Meyer brought an amazing lineup of pastors to share with us and they even braced the very difficult subject of RACE RELATIONS!!!! I was so excited! I think that this is going to be one of the moments that we look back on years from now with a united, integrated church and say, 'WOW! That's where it started!' I feel so blessed to be a part of this weekend!

Darlene Zschech and Hillsong were here for worship and it was AMAZING. I can honestly say that at this point in time, the only thing better than Hillsong worship in Sydney... is Hillsong worship in Harare! They had an amazing time, the church had an amazing time and I know that God must have REALLY enjoyed it as well!

My all time favorite moment of the whole weekend...well actually there are two, are:
1. After one of the day sessions, going to a prison with Joyce Meyer Ministries and Hillsong and hearing Joyce minister to the inmates. Darlene at one point got up and sang Amazing Grace ACAPELLA and even as I type this I am getting goose bumps. It was the most amazing thing, standing behind her staring into the faces of some of the most forgotten men in Zimbabwe as her voice ministered to them. I think that years from now I will still remember that experience. As one of only 3 people invited to come that weren't a part of their team, I know that this experience was a gift from God.

2. Taps on stage singing his song, 'Africa' for 100,000 people in an open field as Hillsong stood in the wings of the stage. Even though less than 10 people had heard the song before, everyone joined in singing, "Africa, Africa" and I watched as one of the guys from Hillsong said to the head of Joyce Meyer Minstries, "You mean WE have to go on after THAT?" Again, 20 years from now when I am bragging about Taps after he wins yet another Grammy, I will still be telling the story of this weekend!

Scary Scary!

2010-05-31T11:01:00.000+02:00

Getting a flat tire anywhere is no fun...

For anyone in Zimbabwe, you know that getting a flat tire on the corner of 7th and Tongogara is a DISASTER!

Yes, on Friday morning in rush hour traffic (not the same as LA, but still traffic) I managed to get a flat tire in the turn lane in front of the State House.

I have heard so many horror stories about this, people being beaten, arrested and threatened... but thanks to the fact that I am covered in lots of your prayers, I was fine! Nyasha came to save the day, along with Walter and Takesure, they were able to get the tire changed and send me on my way to the Seed Sowers Prayer Summit with little problem!

Missing My Family

2010-05-03T14:57:00.003+02:00

This weekend was my little cousin Noah's first communion. Noah is one of the most special little boys that I know, and that says quite a bit, because I know a lot of kids ;-) My Aunt Cricket is like a mother to me. She helped my Grandma raise me and has been a part of my daily life since I was a little girl. Noah is her only child. He is 8, she had him later in life as she and her husband tried for years to get pregnant. When Noah was finally born our entire family knew he was a miracle. He has brought so much joy to all of our lives.

My Aunt Cricket and Uncle RJ are Catholic and they are raising Noah as a Catholic as well. This weekend my family gathered together to celebrate his first communion. It is another family event that we can add to the list of the ones I have missed. The weddings, the funerals, the births and birthdays, the Christmas's and the graduations… for years I have missed them all, because I am in Zimbabwe. It is not an easy thing, to miss out on the events, after a while I start to wonder when they might feel like I am no longer a part of the family at all. As hard as it is for me to understand, it is even harder for them. I know that. I am here, living out the calling on my life. No matter how great the pain of any given moment I know that His grace is sufficient and that I am able to walk through the moments that hurt. They miss me terribly and cannot truly understand why I have this life that takes me all the way to the other side of the world to a country they have never known. The relational sacrifice, is the greatest of all the sacrifices I have made to move here, to follow God.

I miss them so very much. My love for my family hasn't changed, if anything it has grown immensely. As I learn to love a nation of strangers, I also learn to love my own family more. This weekend, I couldn't be more proud of my cousin as he takes such a big step in his spiritual journey. I am not Catholic, but I understand the importance of what he is learning. I also could not be more proud of my aunt. She waited so long for her son and I love that she has for the past eight years, remained faithful to God in the way that she is raising her child. This morning as I read Proverbs 3 I thought of her, the chapter starts with "My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments" and continues on to say "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." It is the deepest prayer of my heart that Noah will not forget these teachings of his early life and that he will learn to trust in the Lord.

Thank you for letting me take the opportunity to brag about my family J

3 departures and one most fabulous arrival!

2010-04-28T10:40:00.000+02:00

I made it! This trip back to Zimbabwe was filled with miracles, love and gratitude!

I was flying stand-by on a buddy pass because of a very generous friend who works for Delta. This meant that my travel was significantly less expensive than normal, but that I would not have a solid flight plan, and whether or not I would get a seat on my flights would be dependent on whether or not there were seats available! And with all the travel being stopped through Europe and airports full of people going nowhere, no one could guarantee that I would get anywhere, on flights that looked overbooked!

But I went in faith to LAX on Monday night. My dear friend Deborah dropped me off at 10:30 at night for a 1am flight, and not only did I get a seat on the flight, but I got a FIRST CLASS seat on the flight! Wooohooo, that meant that I got a few hours of really good sleep! I had a long wait in Atlanta, and no knowing if I was going to get a seat on the flight from Atlanta to Johannesburg, South Africa, I tried to make a plan to spend the night if necessary. I was able to spend the day with some friends and it was so nice to be loved on and to visit with people I haven’t seen in a long time, and when they dropped me off at the airport, I was once again given a fabulous seat on the VERY long flight to Joburg. I sat with a group of men, about my dad’s age who were traveling to South Africa for a hunting trip together. They were so much fun and so sweet to me!

When I made it to Johannesburg, I was too late to make the South African Airways flight, and thought I might have to spend the night in South Africa, but again I found favor and was able to get on a seat on an Air Zimbabwe flight to Harare and was in Zimbabwe by 10:30pm on Wednesday! It was an unbelievable trip and, thanks to all of the prayers, I think my best travel to Zim ever!

I have been here for 6 nights now and I am pretty much on schedule and over the jet lag! I most of Thursday and Friday except for a few visits with friends and a trip to my favorite orphanage to spend some time with some very special kids and a little girl names Ruthie that I have missed so very much!

Then this weekend, my dear friends Walter and Tatendwa got married, it was so nice to be a part of that celebration! What a great time!

This week is filled with meetings and preparation to get back to work! I love and miss you all so very much! Thank you for all of your prayers, encouragement and support! I will be updating my blog as often as possible with stories and pictures so keep checking back!

It's time to go back to Zimbabwe!

2010-04-15T16:51:00.003+02:00

I have had a great visit to the States! I have spent time with my family, my churches and my friends and have been filled up, loved on and given many opportunities to share what God is doing in my life and in Zimbabwe! What a blessing!

I can still remember the first time I traveled to Zimbabwe in 2005. I had no idea what to expect and my heart became so burdened for the children I met! The desire to make a difference has grown with each year that I spend in this beautiful place.

This past year in Zimbabwe, we have seen many exciting changes. Not only change in the nation, but also in the work we are doing! I have traveled throughout the country establishing relationships in many villages and towns by helping families stay together and work through difficult situations. Our work has also greatly expanded. I have begun counseling children in several orphanages throughout the nation and helping to train staff members in these orphanages as well. Praise God, we are seeing improvement in the lives of so many hurting children by providing love in these homes and by teaching staff members to parent in a God honoring way.

I am returning to Zimbabwe with ROCK of Africa Mission in about 2 weeks. I will no longer be based in Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe; I will be living in Harare, the capital. My focus when I return will be to learn the Shona language. I have been living in a region that speaks Ndebele and have been learning that language for years; however, most of the children and families I am counseling now are Shona speaking. It is clearly time to take a step back and learn this language as well. As I learn Shona, my work will focus on counseling children in several orphanages that have invited me to help, as well as to continue to minister to the children living and working on the streets of Zimbabwe.

As always, when it is time for me to head back to Zimbabwe, I must raise the funds for my travel, my living expenses and the funding of the work I do. I am continuing to serve as a volunteer, as I have been for the past four years. We kicked off the fundraising this past weekend with a very successful garage sale! Over $1,000 was raised with the items donated by friends in Southern California! Thanks to all who helped, donated, prayed or shopped!

If you would like to partner financially in the work that we are doing in Zimbabwe, you can join my support team by sending a check to ROCK of Africa Mission, 19781 Briarly Lane Huntington Beach, CA 92646, with "Regina's personal support" in the memo line. You can also donate online at www.ROCKofAfrica.org by clicking on the 'Give Now' box and typing "Regina's personal support" in the description. All of your donations go directly towards funding my time and work in Zimbabwe and are tax deductible.

You can keep up to date with my work and life at www.gigiinzim.blogspot.com or by becoming my friend on facebook (www.facebook.com/gigiinzim)

With love and gratitude,

Regina Jones

Blessed Beyond Measure

2010-04-14T16:36:00.001+02:00

I had a great day with an amazing woman today. Sharon started a Christian school years ago, when she couldn't find a school to send her children to. Cornerstone Community School is a wonderful program that incorporates classroom time with a home schooling component and teaches parents how to parent in a godly way with a program Sharon designed called Training Hearts for Jesus.

I met Sharon when I was looking for a parenting curriculum to use in Zimbabwe and was so frustrated that I couldn't find one that was rooted in the Word that would be able to work to meet our needs. I found Training Hearts and then met Sharon. We have become friends and has been such an encouragement and blessing in my life!

Today I got to spend the morning at her school and was so blessed to (once again) see how beautiful it is when parents parent and teachers teach, all while loving the Lord and teaching their children to do the same!

http://cstone.publishpath.com/

I am waiting on God. My heart wants to return to Zimbabwe, but I know that I am being delayed for a reason. I am trying to trust Him in every moment, knowing that His timing is perfect! Days like today make waiting a little bit easier!

Mr Who?

2010-03-06T08:47:00.004+02:00

I first met Mr. Who in November, 2005. It was my first trip to Zimbabwe -- I was going for 2 weeks. Little did I know that this old man, with a heart on fire for the Lord would become my dear friend.

In the four years that I have lived in Zimbabwe, I have spent quite a bit of time with this man and his family. At first glance, it would appear that his family is poor. And in terms of material possessions, yes they are lacking, but in love and in spirit they were rich... and their most precious gem, was Josiaha Martin... Mr. Who.

Mr. Who got his name, when he lost his eye sight due to cataracts. I never knew him when he could see, but I loved that everytime I would walk down the hot, red, sandy path in Monde that before I neared his gate I knew I would hear "Who's there? Who's there?" He was always excited when someone would take the time to stop and pray with him, sing with him or read him the Bible. Those who have met him, as any of my friends who have come to Vic Falls have, know that as soon as you begin to pray with him he shouts "Amen! Amen!" His joy is contageous! His loss of vision was a constant source of frustration for him, and he was forever asking to be taken for medicine to restore his vision. Tonight, my heart rejoices at the thought of Mr. Who, with perfect eyes singing and dancing on streets of gold. He will never be hungry, cold or lonely again. He has been waiting for this day for a long time, although I will miss him, today my heart rejoices for him.

Mr Who, lived with his daughter and eight grandchildren. It appears that most of his children have died, as is so common with this generation in Zimbabwe, leaving behind many orphans. His one daughter stayed with him to help take care of the children, and as he aged, her father as well. Because he was so well loved in his community his daughter and these children have been provided for. People in the community, as well as ROCK of Africa, have seen to this, however one thing is important to note: A male presence in the home (Mr Who's presence) has kept them safe. Without a male in the home a woman and her children are left vulnerable.

Please pray for his family as they carry out his funeral this on Sunday, but also pray for their continued protection and provision in this time. The story of this man, Josiaha Martin is not rare, as a matter of fact, it is commonplace in this nation, but it is heartbreaking.

I will remain close to this family, and will do my best to help his daughter provide a safe place for these children to live. This is what I do in Zimbabwe, on the most intimate level.

NRB

2010-03-03T09:58:00.001+02:00

Each year a group of volunteers from ROCK of Africa head to Nashville for the National Religious Broadcasters convention. This is always an important time to spend with other Christians, learning about how God is moving in the world and being encouraged! It is also a time of long days, longer nights and not very much sleep.

One of the highlights of the convention each year is Kay Arthur. She is often found speaking at either Women in Christian Media, or NRB...this year she did both--BIGGER BLESSING!

I met so many amazing people this year and heard so many great things, however I was most blessed by a talk at Women in Christian Media in which Kay Arthur, Vonnette Bright and Thelma Wells shared insight into their ministry--and gave lots of advice on marriage! What priceless wisdom to be able to behold from these godly women!

I have also decided, with the encouragement of several people that I met at NRB, and so many others over the years, to begin writing a book. I had been collecting stories from my experience in Zimbabwe, but when my laptop and all of my data was stolen, I was discouraged and kind of gave up. I have a renewed sense of purpose after this convention and made a commitment to a woman I am respect very much, to write a chapter a month. So here we go... someday ROCK of Africa volunteers might see my book on display at NRB! If my story can be an inspiration be an inspiration to someone--or more importantly to bring glory to God, then how can I not tell it?

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Revelation 12:11

Family

2010-02-06T09:21:00.039+02:00

(Noah reading to me!)

This year, I was so blessed. I was able to spend almost a month visiting my family. Here are some fun pics from that month. There are too many funny stories to tell, but all in all it was so great to be able to spend time with my grandma, my dad, Jimmy (my brother), Noah (my 8 year old cousin), Jaylin (my 5 year old neice), Aunt cricket, Aunt Sissy and Aunt Laura... along with all of my extended family as well! I ate a lot of food (coney dogs, white castle and lots of home-made meals) played in the snow and played a lot of Wii, and had lots of great conversations-some with laughter and some with tears!

People used to ask what it was like to give up so much to live in Zimbabwe. The physical sacrifice has been immense, to live without my normal diet, environment and possessions has been a learning experience. At this point I rarely think about those things as a sacrifice anymore, however I doubt that there will come a day when the relational sacrifice doesn't hurt. To be so far away from friends and family is difficult, but for me, i have to think it is worth it to be able to serve God in such a way.

Noah & Grandma playing Wii

Aunt Cricket

Jaylin at our valentines day sleepover

Grandma and I are both in this "tent" with

her while we read our valentines!

Noah wanting to show the kids in Africa what snow looks like!

Me making snow angels in the driveway!

Saying good-bye

2010-01-17T08:28:00.012+02:00

It's never easy. I imagined that the more practice I have in saying good-bye, the better I should become at it. However, leaving Zimbabwe today is harder than it ever has been before, however when I went to say good-bye to the chidren at a local orphanage that I spend a lot of time at, I found that bringing bubbles made saying good-bye so much easier!

I love Zimbabwe, and although I will be faraway for a little while, I hold her people in my heart.

Homemade kites and Ice Cube Love

2009-09-13T17:45:00.000+02:00

Jasper recently reminded me that October is almost here, the month we all dread the most… it is so hot!! But I am refusing to think of October and I am instead enjoying the breeze the blows throughout the ghetto in September.

As the days get hotter, the winds are most welcomed. With each season there are special things to look forward to. One of my favorite parts of the windy times (August and September) are the homemade kites that so many kids are seen with.

A couple of sticks, a torn plastic bag and some string are turned into high flying kites that kids all over Mkhosana can be seen running with. Every time I see one of these kids with their kites I think back to the colorful kites of my youth. My rainbow bright, cabbage patch kid or Barbie kite made me so happy… but I doubt that my smile could even compare to the one on the faces of the little kids I see with their “Spar” (The name of the local grocery store) plastic bag kite.

Their smile is contagious and every time I see their kite flying through the air I get a giant grin on my face. When they offer to let me fly it, somehow I can’t get it off the ground….so I am left to enjoy on the sidelines but oh how I enjoy!!
A few days ago I heard some banging outside my bedroom window. This is not unusual as my house is the playground for all of the kids to play games that are not allowed at their house (ie, the ones that break windows or squash gardens) so I looked out to see what was going on. Tisang and Precocious were banging a frozen water bottle on the ground to break the ice so they could eat it. I got so excited and called them in the house and gave them a heart shaped ice cube from my freezer. We are practicing English, so I asked, “Tisang, what shape is that ice cube?” She looked at me with pride in her eyes, knowing that she understood the question and knew the answer. She quickly replied, “Love!”

Homemade kites and ice cube love are just 2 of the many blessings found in the ghetto during the month of September!! The journey and the adventure continue as we get closer to October, when the weather channel will tell us the sun is “scorching” and we will miss the kites, and the wind that they danced on!

Gigi and Joni's Labor Day Adventure!

2009-09-09T14:04:00.002+02:00

Gigi and Joni’s Labor Day adventure!

This Labor Day weekend will be one that I will not soon forget! I went to church on Sunday and received a Word that was in season and desperately needed by my thirsty heart. Pastor Farai preached a message entitled “What do you see?” Oh how I needed to be reminded of who my God really is.

He really does provide exactly what we need when we need it, but when I am in the middle of the need, it is so easy for me to forget that! I needed a girlfriend, and God sent me a sister! After church I went to linger around the front and greet Pastor Farai and Pastor Jo and hold their new beautiful twins, who I of course am now volunteered to baby sit J An American was visiting and was being introduced to the pastors. Joni, a 39 year old single woman from San Francisco and I connected immediately. We spent the whole day together! I just happened to have my bathing suit on under my dress (just like going to church in Orange County) and we spent the day at her hotel laying out by the pool working on our tans and fellowshipping and sharing stories. We then went to dinner and kept taking and talked all night until we passed out in her hotel room after midnight!

God answered my prayer and sent me a friend, but as usual He went above and beyond! He sent me a sister, and gave me a Labor Day holiday at the Victoria Falls Hotel!!!!!! God, and Sista Joni blessed me beyond measure…she even left me with a smashbox mascara—(can we say LUXURY item) and Hillsong’s Faith+Hope+Love DVD!

When her bus pulled away, my heart was sad… I would have loved to spend more time with her. I felt so refreshed and so reminded of God’s amazing love. But I knew she had to go, she is off on her own adventure in California and I of course, have to get back to mine here in Zimbabwe!

Obviously, my favorite part of the hotel was taking a very hot bubble bath!! Thank you Sista Joni!!!

(I'll post pics of us hanging out as soon as I get them!!)

Lessons on the road to Lusaka!

2009-09-09T14:00:00.003+02:00

August 27, 2009

I spent this weekend in Zambia, taking care of business with my car. In June I was in an accident and we had to take the car to Lusaka, the capital of Zambia for work on the body. Although the car has quite a bit of body damage, it actually looks worse than it is now, because the mechanic in Livingstone removed all the parts in the front to do the engine work and so the car looks funny because it is missing a lot of the body.

A dear friend of Pastor Chris, a man named James came down to drive the car to Lusaka, and I went with him. The journey was not easy—the important ones, I suppose, never are. The car has no windows on the passenger side and a plastic windshield that only covers parts of the empty space left by the one that is missing. There is about 100km (62 miles) of detour from Livingstone going toward Lusaka where the road is being resurfaced. The detour takes you into the bush on gravel roads in horrible conditions. People avoid this trip at all costs! We did this trip in half a car with no glass J By the time we made it back onto the main road we were covered in dust and very tired!

James felt bad that I was riding in the car in such a condition, but I told him “it’s all part of the adventure” and told him some stories of my time in Africa so far. He laughed and along the way would look at me and say, “it’s an adventure!” I try to make it a habit to never ask someone to do something that I would not be willing to do myself and this is one of those moments. We laughed almost the entire trip and I can say that whether the Pajero is in beautiful condition or lacking body parts, I have learned to be content! (Although I definitely prefer it to have windows!!)

I know we must have looked funny because every town or village we drove through people would look at us in the car and laugh, some of the more compassionate hearts would offer condolences. We had a minor breakdown and had to stop in a small town for repair—3 hours later we were back on the road, with a dilemma. We were driving a car with no headlights, and it was going to be dark before we reached Lusaka. We decided we would try to make it to Monze, a bigger town along the way with some lodges. About 45 km from Monze the sun had set and we were taking our chances driving knowing that our sight was limited. About 40km from Monze we could see nothing and no one could see us. We were in trouble. James was driving as slowly and safely as possible, but we had to admit that something had to be done.

I suggested that we get out of the car and flag someone down to help. The first car that past us almost ran James over, and didn’t stop to help. The second car stopped and drove very slowly to Monze, where he was also going to be sleeping and let us follow closely behind. When we arrived in Monze he took us to a lodge where he was going to be staying and I went in to check for availability. When I came out the good Samaritan said, “I know you, I have been to your house.” I didn’t believe this because it would be generous to say that 5 Zambians have been to my home in Vic Falls, what would the chances of one of those five finding me in the middle of the bush on a road I have never driven on before. But, God is so good and so sovereign, it was true. The man, Mambo Phiri had driven a bus for us with a team of volunteers in July 2007 and when we took them to the airport in Vic Falls we went together and stopped at my house to pick up a few things. He looked at the repairs I was doing and made suggestions. He had been stopped at a police roadblock and was going to be fined for something silly and I made jokes with the police in Ndebele and he was let off with a warning. We laughed at the memories and were awed by how good our God is, for sending along a friend to help in a time of need

I love this pic from outside our lodge the thatch
has "the real African story" carved into it. James
parked right in front of it last night when we couldn't
read it... this is what it looked like this morning as we left!

James and I spent the night in Monze and headed off uneventfully to Lusaka the next day. The car is now at a mechanic who will have it repaired relatively inexpensively and back on the road in about a month! I joined the M’kandawire’s at the Presbyterian church’s women’s conference in Lusaka and had the rare pleasure of seeing Pastor Chris and 2 of his brothers officiating a service together. It was a joy.

My favorite part of the service was when 3 of the church choirs were invited to sing. I was confused as to why they were singing separately if they were singing the same song, but I am so glad that they did. The first group sang, they were small about 10 woman and they sang beautifully in perfect harmony. I doubted that I would enjoy the next 2 any more than I had enjoyed that one, it was lovely. But then I was astonished, each choir got more and more impressive, bigger and a fuller sound. What impressed me the most about the last 2 groups were their conductors. Both women, were conducting small choirs (about 30-50 woman) in the middle of the bush, with wind blowing red dust everywhere and they, with their bright white uniforms stood in front of their women and gracefully moved their arms directing the voices with precision and concentration, as if they were conducting the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. I sat amazed, with tears in my eyes, not from the dust in my contacts but from the lesson I saw in these 2 women. They very beautifully demonstrated what it looks like to use your full potential: your time, talents and treasures to build the kingdom. The size of their choir, nor the condition of their “performance hall” did not diminish the quality of their service. My heart was in awe of these women and their act of worship, they truly knew Who they were performing for: they truly know their Lord.

I couldn’t help but leave that place with a question in my heart: Am I fulfilling my role in the Kingdom with such passion and esteem? When people look at me, do they know who I am serving?

Nyasha's Arms of Mercy

2009-08-26T15:56:00.001+02:00

Every day I get a beautiful reminder of the blessings that come with the kind of life I get to enjoy.

I live in a high density neighborhood with LOTS of children. Some of them do not know me and they still refer to me as “Makhiwa” (white person) but so many of them know me and so as I walk through the dusty roads of Mkhosana I hear, “Regina! Regina!”

No matter how many times I come out of my front door every day, there is a beautiful little girl named Nyasha who greets me. She is young, probably 3 years old, and when I left Zimbabwe last year she didn’t really ever speak to me. This year, however, every time I walk out my front door she runs to me and shouts, “Regina! Regina! I’m fine!” I love that she tells me she is fine before I even say to her, “Good morning, Nyasha, how are you?” She always jumps and throws her arms around me.

Obviously, I love these encounters, but recently I met another Nyasha and learned that the name means ‘compassion’ or ‘mercy’. So every morning I feel the arms of compassion and the arms of mercy wrapped around me as I start my day. What a reminder of how good God really is.

Despite the cold showers in winter, I am a blessed woman!

Finally an update!

2009-08-19T16:19:00.001+02:00

Friends of Refuge,

What an exciting return to Zimbabwe! I am sorry that I have not yet begun blogging about being home, but I commit to updating as frequently as time and internet access will allow!

My first couple of months back in Africa have been very busy! Although there have been challenges and struggles, the blessings are far more numerous and important.

I want to share with you a personal story that is very dear to my heart. You may know that last year I began spending more time in Harare due to immigration issues, and so much good has come of that. I have built relationships with many of the local orphanages, and we are trying through various methods to improve the conditions for the children living in them. Wherever possible, I come in to counsel the staff and the children in these homes. It has been unbelievable to see the heart of the directors opening to counseling and the changes that are coming about.

I want to share with you the story of Ruth. Ruth lives in an orphanage in Harare and has not been healthy her entire life. She is 7 now, but when I met her she was 5. She broke my heart. She was weak and small with a huge tummy. So weak that she could barely lift her own arms; she couldn't pick up anything. She has one of the worst attachment disorders I have ever witnessed in Zimbabwe. Many of the orphaned children we meet have attachment disorders, because they haven't had the physical and emotional support needed to develop a healthy ability to connect with people. Children often either withdraw completely and do not connect to the people they spend their daily life with or over-attach and have an unhealthy emotional connection to people they have known for just a few minutes. Ruth was withdrawn. She would allow you to hold her not because she enjoyed it, but because the energy it would take to wiggle away was more than she had to exert. So, she would just accept her place in your arms.

A couple of people have committed to spending great amounts of time connecting with little Ruth. Over the past 2 years that I have spent time with her, we have been battling her inability to connect. For instance, when I first got back to Zimbabwe and went to visit her, I would try to read her a book. She would engage and point at things she knew for about 30 seconds and then just get up and wander away to play by herself. She didn't want to play with the other kids she lives with, the mommies that take care of her, or me. I have spent countless hours with her on a daily basis for over a month, plus all of the work we have been doing for the past 2 years. Today, I am proud to say if Ruth sees someone she knows coming into the gate at her house, she will get up and run to greet them. She will look them in the eyes, hug them, sit on their lap, and talk to them - she will engage. I was in a meeting with the director of the home Ruth lives in and the woman said, "What has happened with Ruth is nothing short of a miracle. We have been able to get her body healthy, but today she is beginning to have a life worth living." Ruth is 7, and we are finally entering into conversations about preparing her for school. A friend of mine went to visit Ruth and he called to said, "You won’t believe it; I witnessed Ruth praying today!"

A life worth living. That is what this is about, isn't it? Knowing that the impact we can make is about more than just keeping someone alive, but giving them a reason to live. I know that God has given me a heart of compassion for the people of Zimbabwe - the children in particular, and He has blessed me with an education, skills and giftings that are allowing me to help make a difference here. I am grateful everyday for the life I have been given - a life worth living.

Please continue to pray for the work of ROCK of Africa and our project Refuge. Specifically you can pray for:

* People to continue to meet Jesus.
* The health, spiritual growth and provisions of the children and families we work with.
* God to continue to move people's hearts to volunteer with ROCK of Africa and Refuge. And for the people who do volunteer with us to be protected and blessed.
* Continued favor with the community and political leaders.
* Continued funding of the work we are called to.
* For our eyes, ears and hearts to be opened to the needs around us that we are called to meet.
* For us to continually seek God first, and that our goal is always to advance His kingdom.

The needs in Zimbabwe remain enormous, both in town and in the rural areas. No church or organization can meet them on their own. We continue to partner with churches, community projects, and organizations that are building the Kingdom. We need your help. If you would like to help us continue to work with the children and families of Zimbabwe, you can do so by sending a check (with Refuge in the memo) to:

ROCK of Africa Missions
PO Box 5000
Costa Mesa CA 92628

Or by visiting www.ROCKofafrica.org and clicking on the "give now"
link. Please write Refuge in the memo box!

Your donation is tax deductible and will be used to make an impact in the lives of the people of Zimbabwe!

With love,
Regina Jones

My grandma is here

2009-02-20T20:18:00.003+02:00

My grandma flew out to California to see my last night.

She misses me so much. Although during my time in Zimbabwe, I rarely miss America, I miss people all the time. I miss Grandma every day, she is my mom. She raised me. To not be able to pick up the phone and call her when I want to is hard. When I think of how much she misses me, my heart breaks, so I try not to.

She is only going to be here for 4 days, but I am so excited! She is finally going to get to meet my friends, my team and my church!

I hope you all get to meet her!

It's not about me?

2009-02-18T09:56:00.003+02:00

I am learning to be less selfish. Not because I like learning these lessons, but I suppose God thought it was time.

Last week I decided to extend my time in the States a little longer. I decided to spend an extra 16 days here because 2 of my favorite Zimbabweans are getting on a plane and coming to America for the first time. I am going to be their tour guide. I was excited and pleased to be spending some extra time here.

As many of you know, this was the first year I was excited to come back to the States. Never before did I want to leave Zim, even when I had been arrested. But this has been a very hard year and I was ready to rest and be loved on.

Yesterday I spoke with Asher and her mom and they decided that she would like to be in California for a month, rather than 2 weeks. I had to make a decision whether or not I would stay with her or leave her here with other friends. I prayed quickly and knew that God was saying I will stay.

My heart broke. I already agreed to an extra 16 days... not another 12??? UGH!!! My PLANS! MY HOMESICK HEART? ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!!!

After I got off the phone I broke down into tears. As I talked to God about it I heard clearly. "How have you gotten so confused? You know that you being in Zimbabwe isn't about YOU being in Zimbabwe. It's about helping to raise up the next generation of Zimbabweans to fulfill MY purpose. It's about ME."

Ugh, I don't like being wrong and I don't like being humbled. I like learning lessons easily, like from a book.

At least for today I am happy to be a part of His plan in a nation that is so special, with people that are so amazing.

Today, it is not about me.

P.S. A few hours after this lesson I went to the gym for a meeting about Keegan, the Zimbabean runner that is here and he is doing so well. This kid is on target for a scholarship and to run for Zimbabwe in the next Olympics. I am humbled by his obedience and faithfulness even in difficult times, another kid that we will help so that he can help change Zimbabwe. Wow I am blessed!

P.P.S. Asher got her visa...it's official: THEY ARE COMING!!!

Hope for Zimbabwe

2009-02-11T18:20:00.002+02:00

*Five million people - almost half population - need food aid

*Hyperinflation

*Unemployment of 90%

*About 3,400 people killed in cholera outbreak

This is how the BBC described the State of Zimbabwe today, in an article talking about the swearing in of our new Prime Minister.

That is hardly the whole story, but even if it were, it is missing anything that could point to hope or the truth. The hope is not found in Morgan Tsvangirai, and more than the hope for America is found in Obama!

The hope is found in Jesus, the Truth is Jesus. Is has manifested itself in a population of His people who are resilient. A people who are survivors, who are victors...some live and some die, but all are victorious!

Let's not forget to pray for this nation and for her people, but especially for her leaders. Today I pray that both of these men will allow God in, make space for our Lord to guide their thoughts, words and actions.

I long for the day when my feet touch Zimbabwean soil again, but today I trust that the cry of my heart makes a bigger difference than my presence ever could!

Blessings!

2009-02-10T10:06:00.003+02:00

I was so blessed tonight...It was the NRB's night of music and there were so many bands and artists that showed up to usher us into a night of worship and Mercy Me took it home and brought down the house, but each and every artist played a part in ushering us into the presence of God.

Here are my new favorite groups, and a couple that you might know already!

After Edmund (I can't say enough about these guys, I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time... my stomach hurts and my cheeks are sore, I wish I could hang out with them every day and they have such a stage presence! Please buy their CD)

Sonic Flood (They are just so much fun to be around)

The Afters (check out their song Ocean Wide)

Fee: (Played my new favorite song second only to Taps' new song!)
This song is the cry of my heart after this amazing weekend!

Listen here:

And of course, Mercy Me.... now there are so many more great artists and I will probably put more up about them later..but for now I am going to bed! We have another busy day tomorrow and it is really late! Check out pictures on Facebook!

I danced the night away and as I was walking out a lady stopped me and said, "Did you have a good time?" and I said, "Oh yes, it was amazing!" and then she said, "I saw you dancing, you sure were blessed tonight, weren't you?"

Yes I was, isn't that the most amazing by-product of worship, we are so blessed!
Goodnight!

Reality Check

2009-02-07T17:50:00.001+02:00

I know it has been a long time since I have posted a blog, but I am going to post something that I wrote today and then I can fill you all in on what has been happening in the past month or so!

I am at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention this weekend with our ROCK of Africa team. One of the highlights of this week for me is the day that I am here by myself, Friday for the Women in Christian Media’s convention! I get the honor of sitting around a room, in an intimate setting with some of the most powerful female voices in the kingdom.

Yesterday Kay Arthur and Thelma Wells spoke about holiness and our relationship with God. I love this, we get together as women who are in ministry and all the pretense is set aside, we check our ego at the door and we look at our hearts, this day fills me up and helps me prepare for what is coming. Ann Graham Lots spoke later that evening after being given an award for her service to the kingdom. She spoke on the urgency of the time and how the church is failing. She reminded us that we are the church. We are failing. She called us to fall on our face before the Lord and let Him convict us, and cleanse us.

There is so much to learn from these mighty women. They are faithful, they are godly, they are real. They sin, they get off the path, but they hit their knees and when they stand up they are faithful and godly. Being in ministry doesn’t mean you have arrived, you know something, it only means you are serving. It means you have availed yourself to Jesus. We are all in ministry, sometimes we just don’t know it. We should be ministering in our homes, in our workplaces, in the grocery store, at the airport, at church to the people who are passed by and not noticed by the majority. That is what full time ministry means. It doesn’t mean getting on an airplane and going to another country. I can live in Zim and still ignore the souls around me.

I am going to share my heart right now, because I have taken Ann’s advice and I have fallen on my face before my God. I have much to repent for. I am in ministry, but I am far from perfect. I am not misled, I know that there is nothing good in me… the only good I see about myself is from God. There are days when I don’t let Him guide my words, my thoughts and my actions and those are days that I need to repent for, and sometimes I don’t do that.

I have for the past few years really loved the passage in Isaiah 6 where Isaiah has an encounter with God and hears the voice of the Lord say “Whom shall I send, who will go for us?” Isaiah gets all fired up and says “Here I am! Send me!”

I know this moment and I love it!

But, even though the back story to this is underlined in my Bible and I know I have read it, I don’t carry it with me. What leads up to this encounter is so important and it’s on my heart so I will share it with you. I don’t know how you will respond, but it caused me to fall on my face before my God.

In Isaiah 5, Isaiah talks about God’s justice and His righteousness, then he goes on a rampage in verses 18-24.
“Woe to those who drag their sins behind them with ropes of lies and drag wickedness around like a cart”
“Woe to those who try to hurry God”
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil”
“Woe to those that are wise in their own sight”
“Woe to those that are heroes at drinking”

How does Isaiah get from there in Chapter 5, ranting about the sin around him to and encounter with God that has him racing off into battle for the kingdom?

He gets a reality check: the same one I got last night!

What sorrow to those who sin, Isaiah is saying. He is pointing his finger at everyone else: seeing their sin, how far they have missed the mark.

Woe to those who kill
Woe to those who perpetuate injustice
Woe to those who are adulterers
Woe to those who lie
Woe to those who steal
Woe to those who live in vanity
Woe to those who are filled with pride

Uh oh, here is where it starts to get muddy, right?
I am vane, I am prideful, I steal time from God wasting my talents on things that do not glorify HIM.

At the beginning of Chapter 6 King Uzziah died. This is important. He would have been a good friend, possibly a relative of Isaiah. Now, as Ann pointed out last night, this event, Uzziah’s death, took place as the Roman Empire was formed. And yet there is no mention of that. To the kingdom, Isaiah’s commission was more important than the formation of the ROMAN EMPIRE!

Uzziah was a friend, Isaiah had spent a lot of time with him. Isaiah would have lived at the palace, eaten there. Hmmm, Uzziah’s death might have meant that Isaiah was laid-off. No paycheck, no home, no food.

So he is sitting around, noticing everyone else’s sin… then something happens. His friend dies and his world starts to crumble around him. But there is more, Isaiah saw God. He had a massive experience with God and really saw Him. Saw his GLORY. Saw Him sitting on the thrown with the train of His robe filling the temple. Saw God for who He really is. In his pain, he really saw.

THEN

Instead of “Woe to them who is this or that” or “Woe to you”, he said, “Woe to me!”

Isaiah 6:5 “Woe to me” I cried “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”

He saw himself as he really was and this is important, he acknowledged it!

THEN

God could cleanse him and send him on his way.

I have been so focused on the sending that I often miss the preparation.

This conference is part of my preparation. My time in the States always is. I come back here, get some space from the tasks and sink into the truth God has for me. That my tasks are not as important as my relationship. Yes, He wants me serving Him. Yes, He wants me sharing the gospel. Yes, right now He wants me doing that in a place where I share the gospel by feeding, clothing, teaching the unloved, by holding the dying in their last moments on earth. Yes, that is what He wants, but more importantly He wants me to see myself, to know that NONE of that is WHO I am. Without “my ministry” I am still Regina to Him.

WOW, this is important. To God I am not “Regina, the girl who lives in Zimbabwe.” Ann is not “Billy Graham’s daughter, the amazing evangelist” You are not “Your name here who does your ministry here” I am “Regina, my beloved daughter” The beloved daughter that gets off track, needs to be convicted and then sent on her way again.

Ann made a call to the women around her last night: Women on the front lines of the battle. She said that our time is short and we are so BUSY. Busy with what? Pointing out the sins of those around us? Going to another church program? THE CHURCH IS FAILING! We are the church. Our job is simple: WIN SOULS.

Who do you walk past every day? A homeless man on the street? One of your children’s friends who comes to your house for dinner because her home is being destroyed by divorce? The girl in the cube next to you at work? The man in the drive through window trying to support his family at $8 an hour? The old woman that has no visitors in the nursing home your mother is in? The bitter woman who shouts at you as you when you are just doing your job and ringing up her purchases at the store? Why is it so easy to see who they are, to see their struggles and walk by?

Because we are waiting for “OUR MINISTRY?” We are waiting for a business card, a title. God called us to go to the ends of the earth to share the gospel. But he also called us to go next door. America is hurting, America is lost. America needs to see that WE are different. I can feed a starving kid in Zimbabwe, but can I talk to my college roommate about Jesus? He didn’t say, go to seminary, get prepared, get a business card and a title and THEN share the gospel.

“WHOM SHALL I SEND? WHO WILL GO FOR US?”
I think God is asking that again right now…

WHO can I send to Bank of America? Who can I send to Macy’s? Who can I send to General Motors? Who can I send to Detroit? To Huntington Beach? To LA? To San Deigo? To Irvine? Who will see the girl at USC? WHO WILL GO FOR US?

America is hurting and WE, the church are failing. We are afraid to stand up and DECLARE JESUS to those who have lost their job, who are losing their savings and their homes. WE ARE AFRAID TO GO… and I think it is because we are missing that experience that Isaiah had. Maybe we don’t see that WE ARE RUINED. That we fail Him every day. That we have gotten off track. We have, the church looks like the world a lot of the time. OUCH

I am not going to forget this again, last night it was burned into my heart as much as the kids faces in Zimbabwe were the first time I ate dinner with them. WOE to me, for I see who I am. Woe to me for not fearing you Lord. For not obeying, for doubting, for delaying. Cleanse me. Cleanse me. Cleanse me. Then send me.

I fell on my face and when I got up I said, “Here I am, send me!”

I hope I continue to fall on my face.

News...

2008-12-16T18:18:00.003+02:00

So here is what is new with me...

I have discovered that there are lots of African's in Hong Kong,

There is also a GIANT Buddha!!

I miss Zimbabwe. Way more than I thought I would, already.

In 22 Hours I am flying to Australia to see Lori. I can't think of any place I would rather be, or anyone else I would rather spend this Christmas with. She is.... well she is more than I can express right now, I love this girl.

Tomorrow morning I am going to Hong Kong Disney, why you ask?? Hmmmmmm, If you know me than you know nothing will stop me from seeing Cinderella's castle in ANY COUNTRY!! Even though everyone is that Ocean World is better and that Disney here is small and pretty disappointing. Disney and disappoint do not go together in my vocabulary.

Did I mention that in less than 24 hours I will be getting on an airplane to visit Lori??!?!?

Goodnight!

HONG KONG

2008-12-13T20:14:00.002+02:00

I am in Hong Kong and I am on Holiday.

I keep telling myself that. I am on my way to visit LORI FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!

I haven't relaxed yet. I am busy filling my time with the tourist attractions. I have ridden buses, subways, trams, ferries and I have walked endless markets and seen so many things already.

Tomorrow I am taking a break.

I am leaving behind all of the fellow travelers that I have met in the hostels and I am taking myself to church.

I am going to spend the day with God.

I don't care that I am in Hong Kong, it is time for me to have a conversation with my Father, it is time to start to let go of the difficulties of this past year. After church I am going to learn about the transformation of the walled city in Kowloon, Hong Kong and how one woman who refused to give up on some unlovable people has changed a city and a nation.

Then I am going to head out of the concrete jungle of Hong Kong and into the quiet empty space of one of the other islands to be by myself and let it all sink in.

I keep reminding myself that I am in Hong Kong, on the way to Australia and that I am so loved. God has given me an amazing gift this Christmas. I don't deserve it, but I am traveling around the world to see my best friend to spend 3 weeks of uninterrupted girl time with a girl who loves me so much.

I am so blessed!

I'M ON HOLIDAY

2008-12-11T11:38:00.001+02:00

So I am at the Joburg Airport and I am leaving Africa.

I AM ON HOLIDAY!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Today I fly to Hong Kong... why you ask? Who knows... I am there for almost a week on the way to see Lori in Australia!!

I'M ON HOLIDAY!!!

=)

PS I am already missing Zim. There is a shop here with a lot of Ndebele things and seeing it made my heart hurt!

Today I left Zimbabwe

2008-12-09T11:32:00.000+02:00

My country, my home for the past three years, the place I love more than I can comprehend, is struggling through the most difficult situations it has ever faced. That is saying a lot. We are talking a country that has been through colonization, war and genocide. Today we are not at war with another country or rebels, but with a force so dark that it permeates our entire nation and it even contaminates the world: we are battling corruption and injustice. It is no longer Zimbabwe that is impacted, but every person, each individual who knows what is going on and doesn’t try to help. Injustice is like that. We can have opinions about war torn countries, we can say we are for or against and in our reasoning, we can justify why we aren’t doing something to help struggling people.
But can we ever rationalize injustice. We over looked a harsh dictatorship, we over looked a hyper inflationary economy, we over looked violence, exorbitant prices and escalating HIV raters, but today the people of Harare do not have a clean water source. Today if they drink their water, they die. Today there are no teachers, today there are no hospitals. The nation is collapsing. There is no provision for basic human rights: water, health, education, food, shelter. Things that most of us don’t have to think about are the things that consume the thoughts of the people of Zimbabwe. We spend our entire days planning where we will get food or water.
I know it is hard to comprehend, but it is real. There is a nation of people:11 million of them who don’t know what to do, or how to move forward. I love them all. I want to give them a solution, but there isn’t one. The best I can do is to grab one individual at a time by the hand and share a meal with them, or provide them with safe water, for that moment. What do we do in the long term? It is hard not to lose hope. They ask me how I stay positive, how I can really believe that things will turn out alright in the end, and inside I laugh because I see myself in the moments where I am not positive, where I feel the situation is hopeless and I hurt and I cry and I lash out. But I also how others see me and so I tell them, there is no hope without God. If you know the one true God, then you can have faith that no matter how hard this life is, it all turns out fabulously at the end.
My country is at its darkest point and I am leaving. I am so excited to see my friend Lori. I am spending her first Christmas in Australia with her and I can’t imagine a better gift for me than 3 weeks with my best friend, by sister. Before I get there I am spending a week in Hong Kong. IT will give me time on my own to spend with God, to process through what my brain has seen this year. What my heart protected itself from. I still cry some days in Zimbabwe, but it is like the overflow that my heart can’t contain. Or it’s on the rare occasions when one of my best girls: Christie, Jesika or Lori either step off a plane to see me or get through on the phone to talk to me… I am not sure which is more difficult: travel or calling!! But in reality, I don’t process through the reality of what is happening, I move from day to day on God’s strength and then He gives me opportunities like this to let it all out. I am going to try to do that before I get to Lori, so that I am ready to just enjoy a holiday.
My brain tells me that this trip around the world: I am going to South Africa, Hong Kong, Australia, then back to the states for 6 weeks before I head to the UK and then back to Zim, is so exciting that I am so blessed and I am going to have a great time. My heart tells me that I am a traitor for leaving NOW. My selfishness is afraid that a miracle will happen in Zimbabwe before I return and I will miss it. I am on an airplane right now flying to Johannesburg where I will spend a couple of nights, and I am starting to feel the emotion well up inside of me. My feet have touched Zimbabwe for the last time for a while and I wish I could explain the connection that I feel to this place. It is like a piece of me comes alive when I am there and it dies when I leave. I have never felt that way about a place before. I am glad that I don’t have to leave Africa until Thursday. I can see some of my Zimbo friends that live in Jozi, Arnold especially… I can eat Sadza and call it pap, I can listen to African drum beats and hang on for just a little longer.
My eyes pour over with tears. The man sitting next to me asks if I am ok… I tell him I am, that leaving is so hard. He looks at me like I am strange. He is South African, he is going home. He tells me he can’t imagine living in Zimbabwe, that life is too hard, that you can’t even buy food. I smile and say that even with all of the problems, there is no place else I would want to live and my heart laughs at the irony and I know that it is true. He asks if I have a boyfriend in Zimbabwe and I tell him no, that I have a different kind of love for the place. And he nods and goes back to his magazine.
Tonight I will start to feel the pain of MY hurts for my country, but I will also get to relive the memories of the miracles. This has been a good year in so many ways. I am not listening to the voice in my heart that condemns me for leaving. I am being called away for a little bit, the work that I do when I am on the road is important as well, I know that. MY country and my friends and family are going through difficult times in America as well. My best friend needs to see me, I need to see my dad and my brother, miracles in my own family. I know that this time away will leave me refreshed and that I will be strengthened. I will come back to Zim even more prepared for the battle that exists in each of our lives.
Today I left Zimbabwe, but I carry her in my

Fresh Cut Grass Smells the same in any language

2008-12-01T06:30:00.000+02:00

1 december 2008

Over the past couple of weeks I have been spending time with ROCK of Africa’s most recent team of volunteers. You can check out thier experiences on www.rockofafrica.org The November trip is always called an ACT of Thanksgiving. People travel to Zimbabwe over the Thanksgiving holiday to serve and distribute much needed relief supplies.

This year, the situation in Zimbabwe is worse than ever and the supplies and food that ROCK was distributed was greatly needed. In the days that lead up to the teams arrival, the weight of the circumstances in which we live here started to take their tole on me. I have been repeatedly sick over the past couple of months, nothing serisous, just enough to keep me tired discouraged.

Things in Zimbabwe are at an uncomfortable place. Prices are exhorbitant. Cash is unavailable, everyone is using US dollars and the prices for things are rediculous: think $2-3 for a can of coke, some places even $6! Fuel is so costly. People are struggling, businesses are struggling. Now we have an outbreak of Cholera at the same time that hospitals are closing their doors for lack of supplies and staff.

There is not clean water in this country. It is making people sick. Some people go days without water for bathing, cooking or drinking. It is HOT here right now. I am drinking about 3-5 liters of water a day. Thankfully you all are buying me bottled water right now. I don’t know how people are surviving.

While the team was here I stayed in a chalet at the rest camp with the girls on the team and it was so nice to laugh and cry and just feel normal. I felt safe from the outside world, the Zimbabwe that was outside the gate. The hungry kids, the blind people begging on the street, the babies dying in the hospital, and the people I love in Harare who are consumed with trying to stop this cholera outbreak!

I was able to stop and just breathe for the first time in a while… and at that moment, the gardeners at the campground were mowing the lawn and I realized firstly, that it had been a long time since I smelled fresh cut grass… and secondly that this smell is the same everywhere. It was refreshing for me to remember that some things are the same everywhere. Cutting the grass is a small example, God’s love is a big one.

On one of the mornings I was staying with the team, I woke up and some of my boys from the street were sitting outside of the fence that is right by our chalet. They were just waiting and wathcing for us to come out. I love those kids. The truth is that my world is no longer on that side of the fence,the side that even if they want to, doesn’t understand Zimbabwe, my world is on that side of the fence… the ugly, hard side. And no matter how great it feels to have a break from it, when the team left I was ready to get back to my life.

I am leaving Zimbabwe next week so this week is hectic. I am packing up my house and getting ready to spend some time in Bulawayo, Gweru and Harare.

Thank you for continuing to pray for Zimbabwe, and for me!

19 Nov 2008

2008-11-19T19:01:00.000+02:00

It is pouring down rain in Vic Falls. This is a season that I find magical in Zimbabwe. Tonight it is dark, except for the occasional bolts of lightning that light up my neighborhood. I have my rain coat on and I find the gold flip flops that my grandma sent me for my birthday sinking into the mud puddle that is usually my driveway.

I pass by my neighbor’s house, whose yard I need to pass through and manage to chat with them for only 2 minutes…a miracle by African standards, but they are trying to contain some leaks in their roof and I am standing in a downpour. I love this country.

I wade through their yard and wonder how their chickens can still be alive as the standing water is touching above my ankles. I realize at that point, #1 that I am concerned about the animals that I will be slaughtering next week at their son’s birthday party and #2 that I am ankle deep in a puddle of mud, water and chicken poop. So I keep walking.

I remove the thorny branch that is serving as their back gate and pass into the neighbor’s yard. I manage to only make myself bleed in 2 places from the thorns and wonder if that would really deter someone from breaking in… I decide that a metal gate and pad lock might serve them better, maybe I will get them one for Christmas.

I am now entering the yard of the family that keeps my food in their freezer. I knock and am forced into their house at dinner time, I am somehow able to get out of eating sadza with them, but still must chat for a few minutes before I can remove what I need. This time I am taking everything… not just one piece of meat or one bottle of water!

I pass back through the yard and close the thorn bush gate, run past the Nyati-Ncube’s house trying to move unnoticed, when Mai’Bridget hands me some chicken and says, “put this in our freezer!” with a huge smile on the face that I have loved since the moment I moved into my house.

I race back through my muddy yard and open the door. What is that humming noise that I can hear over the rain on my asbestos sheet roof? Ah, that is my very own freezer. I no longer have to use the freezer of anyone else. Today my veggies and my 1 kg of beef are secured under my own roof. I am settling in. I am making a home.

The first time I set foot on Zimbabwean soil was 3 years ago yesterday, I would say that it is about time.

More Prayer

2008-11-17T17:10:00.003+02:00

Please pray for this nation.

We are facing immense difficulty. I know that the world is in economic crisis right now and we are all feeling it, but the financial crisis in Zim is unbelievable. I heard an estimate the other day that 80% of Zimbabwean families cannot afford to by adequate food supplies for their family.

We are in a massive clean water shortage.

We are dealing with an outbreak of Cholera that is devastating Harare and surrounding areas.

These are human rights issues: Food, water, health.
Pray for justice, pray for a solution, pray for a miracle.

We have a team coming, they arrive on Friday. Pray that they will be open to see what God has in store for them. Pray that they will love without growing tired. Pray that they will remain healthy.

Something big is happening...

Please Pray

2008-11-13T10:27:00.002+02:00

There is a lot going on here.... and I am tired of being tied up in government offices all day, when I know that there is so much to be done.

Please pray for the people that are suffering from Cholera. Please pray for the people that are starving. Please continue to pray for the relief workers that are here, they are tired and many of them do not know Jesus... how they make it through a day here, I am not sure.

Pray for Zimbabwe.

Pray that I can be patient and trust that for whatever reason God wants me to be in these meetings. Pray that I will allow Him to guide and direct my thoughts and my words. More than anything please pray that i don't miss an opportunity to minister and to be a light wherever I go.

Today I go to the Ministry of Health and back to my 2nd home... Immigration

It is time...

2008-11-07T07:17:00.002+02:00

To go to immigration.

Monday I ran out of the building filled with fear.

I forgot who I am: I am Gigi, Warrior Princess
I forgot whose I am: I belong to the Lord Almighty, The host of heavenly angel armies, The King of Kings, The Lord of Lords, I AM, The Lord of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
I forgot who I fight: The enemy of my soul
I forgot why: To bring Glory to God, to bring the Kingdom to those who don't know
I forgot How I fight: By putting on the full armor of God and STANDING

Ephesians 6:10-18
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take cour stand against the devil's schemes.For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

I actually learned this passage in the King James Version... and I remember "principalities" and "having done all to stand. Stand therefore." And wondered what that meant.

But today I am taking this passage from The Message because it almost knocked me over when I read it after Monday...

A Fight to the Finish

10-12And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

13-18 Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

I feel like I am walking out of boot ca.mp

2008-11-06T12:24:00.002+02:00

I wish I had good news...
but at least I can say that I have not given up.

Things did not go well at all on Monday, in fact they did not go at all. I was not allowed to have the meeting that was schedule so nothing at all was accomplished! I was scheduled to fly to Vic Falls on Tuesday. I have been sick with some sort of throat infection since I arrived and am fighting NOT to lose my voice. I am flying back to Harare now and will meet with some high ranking government officials before I head back to immigration tomorrow.

One thing that did become clear on Monday, was how much of a spiritual battle this is. I don't understand it, but I know that it is true.

Please pray for me to have the courage to stand, and the wisdom to let God do the fighting!

I'm on my way...

2008-11-03T08:10:00.000+02:00

So, I had one of the most difficult work weeks of my entire time in Zimbabwe this past week. I guess it should be expected as I understand spiritual warfare, but seriously... I am tired! I was supposed to leave Gweru on Saturday and get to Harare in time to sleep nicely and go to church on Sunday. I thought it would be nice to be rested up for my meeting with immigration....

Instead, keeping with "Regina" fashion, I ended up in Harare around 10pm on Sunday night! As I was sitting in a family counseling session LATE on Saturday night I felt my mind wander into "Oh, I really should be back in Harare by now" and immediately I stopped myself and refocused, trusting that God has a plan, and that He will sort out the details.

I will tell you though, I started to feel a LITTLE stressed Sunday afternoon at 4pm when I was doing a family session on the lawn of a gas station...with NO plan as to how I was going to get to Harare. Here is how it happened.

I finished with this new family (homeless, 2 kids ages 12 & 7 that have NEVER been to school for even 1 day, parents HIV positive, but without a home and healthy diet the effectiveness of the ARV's is decreased.) at 5:30pm, it was starting to get dusky and there were over a hundred people standing on the side of the road waiting for lifts in Gweru.

And then, a friend of mine drove by and saw me, he picked me up and drove me to KweKwe (the next town, about a 40 minute drive) thinking that there might be less people and a better chance of getting a lift. He knew that I was meeting with immigration this morning and how important it was, so in KweKwe when people said they had been waiting for lifts all day, he continued to drive. At one point we saw a little bus that was going to Harare, so he raced up to it, flagged it down, stopped it in the middle of the road, and got me a seat on a very overcrowded bus that got me to Harare at 10!

I was so relieved to be back home at the Williams' house, and Asher and I had so much to catch up on, that it was after midnight when I got to sleep. I had to be up at 5:30 this morning to get ready for my appointment.

I am ready. I am as ready as I will ever be. I am glad that I didn't have time to prepare, I am sure that I am walking in, allowing God to give me words. I do not have all of the letters that people recommended for me to take. My file already has over 50 letters from people, I will let those words continue to speak of my work here. I think I will go in and just be me. After all, it is not my skills, and others opinions that are going to keep me in Zimbabwe, everything I do is for an audience of one. This morning as I woke up, spent and tired after what was a very busy week, I know that my God is saying, "Well done."

If I ever have to leave Zimbabwe, I want to do it exhausted, dirty, with an empty wallet. I will leave everything I have here when I go... but today I am not going anywhere except to Laquenda House, where I will meet with a man who will see about giving me permission to be here. It is everything, and yet nothing at the same time... I got my permission to be here in November 2005, when I met some kids in Vic Falls and my eyes and ears were opened and I heard my call. God is so good!

Pray for me.

This Girl

2008-10-26T12:37:00.000+02:00

26 October, 2008

From my journal...

It is amazing to me how even in the light of my recent appointments at immigration and the fact that my TEP has been denied, my life hasn’t changed.

On Wednesday when I was told that my TEP was denied and that evening I worshiped God under the stars at St. Joseph’s. Thursday I took the dentist to Voice of Peace to finish his clinic with the kids. Today I had a lunch appointment to make plans for the future, I went to a rally at St. Josephs and met with the matron regarding our schedule to train the staff and to being our mental health assessments of the kids and begin our group counseling. Then I headed to Voice of Peace to teach a lesson on God’s love for each of us.

I imagine that there might be a girl that when told, “No”, as often as I have been told, would shrink back and go. I imagine her, but for some reason, I can’t be her. That girl might be embarrassed less frequently, than I have been, but I don’t think she would change the world. That girl, when her work permit was turned down, would go home and pack up, and spend the next 20 days saying good-bye to loved ones. But I am not that girl, this girl will spend the next 20 days doing what I have been doing… what I have been called her to do. As a matter of fact Monday, early in the morning I will hitchhike to Gweru to spend a day with a family of one of our boys, and then Tuesday hitchhike to Bulawayo to build a relationship with a new orphanage by beginning their assessments and staff trainings.

I will then come back in time for my meeting with the Principal Chief Immigration Officer on Nov. 3, for my appeal. I don’t know why I have to continue this battle with immigration, but I know who I am and I know that He has given me a task here. Whether I stay or go in 20 days, I will carry out my duties in a manner that will honor and bring glory to God.

Denied...

2008-10-24T10:03:00.002+02:00

Wednesday 22 October, 2008
My work permit has been denied...

I have to say that I am in utter shock. I thought that immigration would drag it out, literally forever, but I NEVER, even for a moment, thought that my application would get denied.

In the moment that I received the news, I laughed. I really thought the woman speaking to me was joking. Trying to get me upset, or just teasing me. But I did not take her seriously. 4 hours later, still at the immigration building, I took them seriously.

My work permit has been denied.

Now I am bombarded by thoughts and questions...
Am I called to Zimbabwe? Was I ever? Is my time here over? Are you sending me somewhere else? What does this mean for Refuge? What does this mean for me? What does this mean? Do I keep fighting? Do I let go? Where are you? Why don't I hear you? WHAT??!!?

The only answer is this, "Trust me, I am with you."

I KNOW that God loves me. I know that He has a plan, I even trust that the pain that I am feeling right now is necessary. But I am hurting. My heart feels split in two. I am crying, and I don't even think I am crying for me... but for a nation. My heart still tells me that my future is here.

Thursday 23 October, 2008
Update....
I spent another day at immigration today, because although they know that my permit was denied, they cannot find my file and give me the letter that I need to make an appeal. It feels like an attempt to discourage me, but I had a great night with God last night and calls from 2 of my fave girls in the world and today I feel alright. I feel stronger than yesterday and ready to not give up.

So I spent the day at immigration.
3 hours sitting waiting for a letter that tells me I can't work in this country. The whole time I feel like maybe God will change the words on the paper and I will get this much needed sticker in my passport.

Instead, they close for lunch and tell me to come back on Tuesday. I hear very clearly, "Don't leave." So I say, "No I will wait, if that's alright."

About 30 minutes before they will return from lunch, I am looking for a bathroom. There is no one on the first or second floor so I make my way to the third floor. I have never met with anyone on the third floor because it is where the executives are. I pass by an office looking for someone to unlock the bathroom and a woman asks me, "Who do you work for?" I tell her, "ROCK of Africa, but i am just looking for the key to the toilet." She gives it to me and I make my way there.

In the toilet I meet a lady who asks me about the progress of my permit, which makes me tear up and she said, "Don't worry... just keep trying."

So I take the key back to the very nice woman on the third floor and she asks me a lot of questions about my work here and is really helpful. She then asks a man to meet with me, who is so kind and generous and uses his position to help me.

Long story short, I now know how to appeal and what i need to do.
I also have an appointment on November 3, 2008 for this appeal.
Most people appeal in a letter. I will write a letter, but I get to deliver it in person.

I left immigration today with a "no" that felt like a "yes".

I know that God's plan is perfect, and way better than mine. I was content to go pick up a sticker and have it put in my passport. Instead of the sticker, today I have a relationship with several very important people in the immigration department and an appointment to meet with the man who's decision determines whether or not I stay in Zimbabwe.

Please pray for continued favor.

The only answer I have is that He loves me. I trust Him. His plan for my life and for Zimbabwe is perfect.

Gigi

PS, I laughed because the man who has been helping all along said to me yesterday when he found me in an office i shouldn't have been in said, "You are very brave. You have courage i have never seen. Anyone would have given up by now. This is why I respect you. You are a Christian and I see that by how you act here."

God's plan is best.

Amazing

2008-10-24T09:36:00.005+02:00

19 October, 2008
Dr. Liz, an American that has been living in Harare for 3 months was leaving, so Ash and I took her to Antelope Park for her last weekend. We were able to spend 2 days there enjoying the being in Africa! I hitch hiked from Bulawayo and met them in Gweru and it was such a treat.

We decided to do a lunar horseback ride, which Jesika would have loved! She is going to die as she reads this...

We were riding horses in the moonlight and although our guide Rod insisted that we stay on the trail, my horse, Casio, seemed to have my same wild abandon and we decided that it would be better to ride through the tall grasses. It was beautiful (Liz got attacked by a thorn tree, but other than that we were safe.) At one point we even got to join a heard of Zebra and wander around with them.

In the morning we went swimming with elephants and then hit the road to get back to Harare, where we will be doing a dental clinic at Voice of Peace and I will be meeting with immigration.

I love Zimbabwe.